survivors and alcohol
I started black out drinking at 13 and that was how I got through the rest of my time at home; it also helped with anxiety in college. I have some pretty crazy stories. About 9 months after college I landed up in AA . . . had become so visibly alcoholic that someone I worked with took me to a meeting. After about 2 years sober my abuse memories surfaced and I lost my mind. Decided that that was why I drank and that if I went to therapy and worked on that I'd be fine. Also, I didn't want to be an alcoholic and thought that if I said I wasn't I wouldn't be. I drank and used drugs for about 6 months after that, heavy leaving las vegas drinking and coke most days of the week. I realized I had to stop so I went back to AA where I have met a lot of cool people. I still don't know what I think about alcohlism or whether it exists but I have been sober for five years now and my life is difficult enough without it. My T put me on some pills coz he said I was self mediacting etc. That has helped a lot. I can barely talk about this stuff now, so I am sure if I was abusing alcohol I would be running away from it more than confronting it. I have to say that in AA tho I have met a lot of survivers and its cool having so many friends in recovery and therapy where this stuff is all in the open. I always appreciate that.