"Survivor"
My_Mayberry
Registrant
Hello, everyone!
I'm new to this site, and it's with reservations that I call myself a survivor. The word for me carries conflicting emotional meanings, and it sometimes just doesn't always seem to fully fit with my state of being at a given moment. Even so, it's the most common word and is broad enough to cover many aspects daily life that do often fit for me.
So, here I am. I'll eventually detail my story more in the other appropriate forum. I have "survived" persistent childhood and adolescent physical, emotional, and sexual abuse. Now in my mid-30s, I am addressing it through therapy for the first time. My therapist and I do several types of therapy, including EMDR. It's tough, and sometimes it's hard to keep doing it. Luckily, she's patient and we move at whatever pace I'm able. It does tend to impact my interpersonal relationships, though. Especially, and most unfortunately, with my closest friend who is a male. All my trauma was inflicted by men, and so opening the wounds up to examine them tends to leave me rough around the edges, and the intense fears of abandonment, being used, or being thrown away rear their ugly head. My avoidance of addressing my CPTSD resulted in a complete breakdown last year and then a severe relapse on pills and alcohol. Luckily, I am sober again, although now trying to put the pieces of that disaster back together.
My therapist recommended this site. I look forward to getting to know people better. It's tricky navigating conversations here because I came seeking support, but recognize the delicate nature of the reason why everyone has come here. It's hard to ask questions, especially since I've not even been able to talk about my own abuse until very recently. Even so, the little I've read so far has me finding stores that resonate with me.
I'll close with one final thing - my screen name. In 2007, I joined another site for support with addiction. The site had become very important to me, as it was literally the only place I could communicate with anyone about my addiction and mental health issues. At that time, I had not yet connected them to my traumatic childhood experiences. I believed in what is now for me a misguided model of addiction. Nonetheless, the site provided me with a community that I really needed. It reminded me of the *seemingly* ideal little town of Mayberry in the Andy Griffith show. Watching Andy Griffith was a type of healing and therapeutic and even cathartic escapism, and not really in the negative sense. So, this is the first time I've sought support online for trauma, and I can already tell this place will likely be very helpful.
I'm looking forward to getting to know some of you better!
Be well,
~MM
I'm new to this site, and it's with reservations that I call myself a survivor. The word for me carries conflicting emotional meanings, and it sometimes just doesn't always seem to fully fit with my state of being at a given moment. Even so, it's the most common word and is broad enough to cover many aspects daily life that do often fit for me.
So, here I am. I'll eventually detail my story more in the other appropriate forum. I have "survived" persistent childhood and adolescent physical, emotional, and sexual abuse. Now in my mid-30s, I am addressing it through therapy for the first time. My therapist and I do several types of therapy, including EMDR. It's tough, and sometimes it's hard to keep doing it. Luckily, she's patient and we move at whatever pace I'm able. It does tend to impact my interpersonal relationships, though. Especially, and most unfortunately, with my closest friend who is a male. All my trauma was inflicted by men, and so opening the wounds up to examine them tends to leave me rough around the edges, and the intense fears of abandonment, being used, or being thrown away rear their ugly head. My avoidance of addressing my CPTSD resulted in a complete breakdown last year and then a severe relapse on pills and alcohol. Luckily, I am sober again, although now trying to put the pieces of that disaster back together.
My therapist recommended this site. I look forward to getting to know people better. It's tricky navigating conversations here because I came seeking support, but recognize the delicate nature of the reason why everyone has come here. It's hard to ask questions, especially since I've not even been able to talk about my own abuse until very recently. Even so, the little I've read so far has me finding stores that resonate with me.
I'll close with one final thing - my screen name. In 2007, I joined another site for support with addiction. The site had become very important to me, as it was literally the only place I could communicate with anyone about my addiction and mental health issues. At that time, I had not yet connected them to my traumatic childhood experiences. I believed in what is now for me a misguided model of addiction. Nonetheless, the site provided me with a community that I really needed. It reminded me of the *seemingly* ideal little town of Mayberry in the Andy Griffith show. Watching Andy Griffith was a type of healing and therapeutic and even cathartic escapism, and not really in the negative sense. So, this is the first time I've sought support online for trauma, and I can already tell this place will likely be very helpful.
I'm looking forward to getting to know some of you better!
Be well,
~MM