support?

support?
A

alexey

Registrant
Hi,

I read some of your stories and feel that mine could be similar. I think I'll tell about what happened to me and what is going on now in my life. Can I talk to you and ask questions related to sexual abuse of a child?

I know about this forum for some time, but I have decided now to post. I hope there is a support.

Alexey
 
Alexey,

Of course you can talk here. Just take your time and say whatever feels comfortable. This is a great place and everyone here will support you.

There are several members here from your country, and you will see them on the Discussion Board.

Take care,
Larry
 
Alexey welcome to MS. You will find that you are definitely not alone having endured sexual assault as a child.

And roadrunner is right there are guys here from your country.

I am truly sorry for what has brought you to us but am glad that you found us. You will find no descimination or abuse here.
 
Welcome to MS Alexey

I have a few friends from Russia who are here - I am sure that you will meet them as you continue talking here on MS...

This is the one place where we can all talk openly about the things that happened to us in the past and our struggles to overcome the past - you will find that people here are very supportive - why? - cause we've been through it ourselves - we've lived the struggles - we understand what many others simply can't...

Welcome,

TJ jeff
 
Alexey,

This site is safe and I know there are other guys here from Russia on this board.This board goes worldwide even though this site was founded in the U.S.A. welcome and share when you feel comfortable.
 
Thanks for your replies. It is really the first time to me when the men are supporting in such a way. I don't care if you are American or Russian, and I am ready to say I never directly talked to a male about the struggle that I've had. (An abuse by strangers, soldiers, when I was 12. I am 22.)I am living now with my father, but he hurt me too. I could live separately, but it was a decision to join the family and try to establish a contact with them after years of denial..

My dad told me humiliating things as I was trying to be a normal, good child. I want to understand how much he did to me to make who I'm now.

Thanks!
 
Alexey,

I am so sorry you got more abuse from your father when what you needed was love and support. That is so wrong, especially when you find yourself torn between the need for your family and the need to be safe. Whatever happened, it was not your fault and your father had no right to humiliate you in any way.

It is natural and normal to find it difficult to talk about these things. You will find a lot of love and support here, and that should help you a lot. But still, don't try to go too fast. As you become more accustomed to the site and the guys here, you will find it easier to express what you need to say. On that there is no rulebook and no schedule.

You will find guys here from all over the world. I and others commented on other Russians because you asked if there are guys from Moscow here.

Take care, Alexey, and once again, welcome.

Larry
 
Thank you, Larry. I think it is good to know that the men from my country are also here. Your words about love and support sound very interestingly, and unusually, but I am looking forward to accepting that. In my life, I never had a positive response from anyone except very few close people about my issues which are basically associated with helplessness and powerlessness. I guess we can do what will help us invert these feelings.

Take care.
 
Alexey,

I am not from Moscow, although we at one time shared a country. I do think myself more as 'American' now, after being here some years.

I understand what you speak, of the responses you will get there, and that things of this, they are not spoken of freely. Of course, it is not so greatly 'free', male survivors speaking even here in the U.S., but it is much the different mindset at home. It is not likely to be met with much support. I hope you can find that here, and it is help to you.

Welcome.

Leosha
 
Thanks for welcome, Leosha. I'll try to find some support here from an individual therapist. I believe I could find a good person or a good group therapy when it will be possible to talk of abuse.

I often feel that I have not started the healing yet, as I can just read the books and connect with survivors over the Internet. Nevetherless, I do see change which is taking place as I look back in the past.

By the way, it is so appreciable that you responded, as other men did, and I would like to know you are surviving well.

Alexey
 
Welcome Alexey. =)

I'm also very new here. I've just recently worked up the courage to post my story. For me personally, it was a big step forward that needed to be taken. It just simply helps you put perspective on your life, to admit that yes it did indeed happen, and now you can face the future with hope and know where to start looking for help.

The trust here is crucial for everyone here. I've been reading posts for a month and seeing so many triggers where I exclaim "Yeah me too! That's how I feel!". To simply know you are NOT ALONE is quite possibly the most rewarding step. This is my opinion of course, and yours may vary, and that's cool. You do what you need to do for you. That's the most important thing.

And lastly, I just find it easier and easier and easier to post. It's just so invigorating, whether it's some deep muse or just a show of support.

L8R
MR
 
I welcome in you here, and it - with grief to see other compatriot here. Though it seems abusings, you suffer, are different that happens with me, but I also have abusing my father, both of parents. It - strength of you to remain with your family and to try to work above it. I shall hope, that you can find some help of the professional. I did not search for it when still I was there, but had some work with the doctor now within several months. I wish success you.

VN
 
VN, I have had a rather negative experience with a therapist several months ago. She would not allow me to speak of what happened to me and was quite rigid minded. I tried to talk about my feelings of pain and isolation, but she was surprised to hear it from me. I suppose this therapist helped me in some way by discussing my problems with relationships, and I guess this topic was her favourite one. In working with young man, she obviously did a good job for a few people, but still I wanted understanding and was not met with it. Finally I went and would never return to her again.

I have read your posts and I am both glad for you as you are able to confront the perps in court, and anxious for I had not had such an opportunity when I was a kid. Anyway, I am about to tell my story later, and I haven't done it yet. As for my family, I'd say it is chaotic and emotionally disturbing to me. Father is abusive phisically and emotionally to mother, and verbally to me. He always did this way, at least on my part. I am in a confusing feeling in regard to him. It seems very hard to connect with him as he is very controlling and selfish to the extreme. I face the prosepct of living with him for quite a time while I'll be starting to work and searching for a place to live on my own.

My mom is strong and she seems kind as she has lived with father for many years. She is also weak; one should make a very hard decision to be a single woman. I become afraid of her, though, as she made hard to my trust in the past.

These words are all the side-effect of my personal trauma I experienced as a 12 year old. I hope I'll have the courage to tell about myself, so thank you for posting, VN, and the other guys!

Alexey
 
Alexey,

I credit you with attempting to find therapy for this. I never attempted when I was still in Russia, but I am under the impression that it would not be a very easy or supporting thing to do. Take good care.

Leosha
 
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