Kurt,
Hang in there. Never doubt yourself or the importance of what you are doing. You are paying a terrible price and that absolutely horrifies me. I am so sorry.
Bbut remember: none of this was your fault. And you do have rights: the right to live in safety, the right to justice, and the right to live a happy and fulfilling life.
Your courage through all this is amazing and I am so proud of you.
Much love,
Larry