stupid letter
stupid letter
- Thread starterkuurt
- Start date
This is a hard message to take but, it made my life a lot easier once I learned it: some people's love just ain't worth having. It sounds like your mom doesn't care about you the way a mom should. But, it sounds like you have a good head on your shoulders. You know what happened to you and you know you don't want to spend more time with 'him'. So don't. Stick to your guns. And hold your head up high while your mom calls you a liar and selfish and horrible. Because you and I know the truth. Stick to the truth and it will carry a long way.
And, I think it would be a good idea to talk to the police and show them your letter. I can guarantee they will investigate. And, there's a good chance that other kids will come forward and say that the same thing happened to them.
And, I think it would be a good idea to talk to the police and show them your letter. I can guarantee they will investigate. And, there's a good chance that other kids will come forward and say that the same thing happened to them.
melliferal
Registrant
I agree with these guys, kuurt. Tell the police. If you can't get to a police station, tell somebody at school. I can't understand what's in your mom's head right now - but this situation seems to be getting kind of toxic. I couldn't say for certain what will happen once you tell the authorities - but one thing is for sure: the police will not call you a "liar" and force you to work with this person.
Kuurt, I'm sorry your mother didn't believe you. Perhaps she is ashamed of what happened and doesn't want it to leak out. Many families are afraid to let others know they are dysfunctional. Regardless, she isn't helping you right now so you need to take matters into your own hand.
Similar to your case, my mother knows about my abuse but she insisted that I let no one else know and that we keep it a secret forever. I have since told other people and now it's liberating to be free of the fear and the stigma involved with keeping it secret. Secrecy gives people power over you whenever fear is involved. That's why you should tell someone else--the police, your teacher, anyone you can trust. You can do it. Take care.
Jesse
Similar to your case, my mother knows about my abuse but she insisted that I let no one else know and that we keep it a secret forever. I have since told other people and now it's liberating to be free of the fear and the stigma involved with keeping it secret. Secrecy gives people power over you whenever fear is involved. That's why you should tell someone else--the police, your teacher, anyone you can trust. You can do it. Take care.
Jesse
reality2k4
Registrant
Kurt,
its going to be even harder that she has shown him the letter, and he has denied it.
Worse still, she believed him, but did she look him in the face when she shown it?
You have to keep your mind safe, and it is number one priority.
Refuse point blank to go there.
How could she accept that you are lying if it happened to her own son, who she should protect.
Can I ask one question here, and it may sound superficial.
Does your mom have some sort of 'love' thing, or crush on Adam?
So she would bring him into a relationship and drown out your relationship with her.
She could be seeing you as using him as a way of forcing her relationship apart from him.
Just what I am thinking right now, but it could be crucial.
If he is using your mom to gain access to you, then you cannot let it happen.
I can think how hard it might be, but I cannot be in yr shoes.
Your mom should take it more serious, but is she so far from listening in her own self centred way.
Child abuse from someone she trusts is sometimes what a mother cannot even think of, but her job should tell her otherwise.
I wish I could be there when you go to that house, and I would get him telling the truth.
Keep yourself safe Kurt,
ste
its going to be even harder that she has shown him the letter, and he has denied it.
Worse still, she believed him, but did she look him in the face when she shown it?
You have to keep your mind safe, and it is number one priority.
Refuse point blank to go there.
How could she accept that you are lying if it happened to her own son, who she should protect.
Can I ask one question here, and it may sound superficial.
Does your mom have some sort of 'love' thing, or crush on Adam?
So she would bring him into a relationship and drown out your relationship with her.
She could be seeing you as using him as a way of forcing her relationship apart from him.
Just what I am thinking right now, but it could be crucial.
If he is using your mom to gain access to you, then you cannot let it happen.
I can think how hard it might be, but I cannot be in yr shoes.
Your mom should take it more serious, but is she so far from listening in her own self centred way.
Child abuse from someone she trusts is sometimes what a mother cannot even think of, but her job should tell her otherwise.
I wish I could be there when you go to that house, and I would get him telling the truth.
Keep yourself safe Kurt,
ste
Kurt,
I'm not gonna offer you any advise here. You're gettin' plenty of of good stuff from the others.
I just want to say that I really hurt inside for you, you know?
Please take good care and stay safe. You're in my thoughts and prayers.
Lots of love,
John
I'm not gonna offer you any advise here. You're gettin' plenty of of good stuff from the others.
I just want to say that I really hurt inside for you, you know?
Please take good care and stay safe. You're in my thoughts and prayers.
Lots of love,
John
roadrunner
Registrant
Kurt,
Adam has done exactly what I thought he would, just like we were discussing in chat the other evening. BUT...that does NOT make your letter stupid, and it does NOT make your accusations any less true.
I know the present situation is incredibly difficult for you. As you yourself say, what you needed from your mother was support, love and protection, not rejection.
Exactly what is at stake here? The issue isn't a letter. It's your need to recover and reclaim your life. The bottom line is this: there is nothing more important for you than this.
So no, you should not agree to work with the abuser on rebuilding your house. The harm this could cause you is very great. And no, you should not accept the verdict that you are a liar and lazy.
Have you considered telling your father what happened to you? That might be one way forward. Or how about a school counselor? I know you had difficulties in that area in the past, but now perhaps things would be better if you give the counselor specific information. Another possibility would be to tell the police. But you really do have to find adult support in your local area. That, I think, is just absolutely essential.
Much love,
Larry
Adam has done exactly what I thought he would, just like we were discussing in chat the other evening. BUT...that does NOT make your letter stupid, and it does NOT make your accusations any less true.
I know the present situation is incredibly difficult for you. As you yourself say, what you needed from your mother was support, love and protection, not rejection.
Exactly what is at stake here? The issue isn't a letter. It's your need to recover and reclaim your life. The bottom line is this: there is nothing more important for you than this.
So no, you should not agree to work with the abuser on rebuilding your house. The harm this could cause you is very great. And no, you should not accept the verdict that you are a liar and lazy.
Have you considered telling your father what happened to you? That might be one way forward. Or how about a school counselor? I know you had difficulties in that area in the past, but now perhaps things would be better if you give the counselor specific information. Another possibility would be to tell the police. But you really do have to find adult support in your local area. That, I think, is just absolutely essential.
Much love,
Larry
Hauser
Registrant
Kurt, it's my understanding that a lot of shit has happened since you posted this thread, I just want you to know that we haven't forgotten about you even though you may not be able to reply.
I hope you're okay. I've seen you struggle with this for 7 months now. I hope it's all downhill from here for you. Either way, we're all here for you.
I hope you're okay. I've seen you struggle with this for 7 months now. I hope it's all downhill from here for you. Either way, we're all here for you.
Kurt,
Just stopping by to offer a word of support and care, hoping at some point you'll be able to read this. You are in my thoughts and prayers, Bro.
Lots of love,
John
Just stopping by to offer a word of support and care, hoping at some point you'll be able to read this. You are in my thoughts and prayers, Bro.
Lots of love,
John
reality2k4
Registrant
Kuurt, we are all rooting for you,
ste
ste
lipsticklullabies
Registrant
im sorry your mom doesn't believe you,i really am. i know how you feel.
take a chance and totally put yourself out there and she thinks youre making it up.
its not fair at all.
i think you should stand your ground, if i were you i wouldn't set foot near that guy even if my mom phsyically took me there.
if you ever needa a talk, message me,
i hope things get better for you
//josh
take a chance and totally put yourself out there and she thinks youre making it up.
its not fair at all.
i think you should stand your ground, if i were you i wouldn't set foot near that guy even if my mom phsyically took me there.
if you ever needa a talk, message me,
i hope things get better for you
//josh
Thanks for stopping by, Kurt. Glad you're able to type at all. As long as I can read it you get an A+.
Lots of love,
John
Lots of love,
John
Kurt, I don't know what to say except; we believe you, we believe in you, we stand with you and we love you like a brother.
Sometimes the people that we think would and should protect us do just the opposite and it does not appear to be fair and it isn't.
Again we care what happens and we are rooting for you in everything you do, stay strong and don't forget we are here for you always.
Sometimes the people that we think would and should protect us do just the opposite and it does not appear to be fair and it isn't.
Again we care what happens and we are rooting for you in everything you do, stay strong and don't forget we are here for you always.
johnsurvived
Registrant
Kurt,
I keep going back to your tagline "Alone I break." It's true, no man is an island, and no man can survive on his own forever. You've made some tough choices in turning for support to a school therapist and your mother, and the results have been disastrous. So, keep coming here for strength and safety, and take Shadow's advice to heart - when the people you are supposed to be able to rely on for support fail you, it may be time to go to the police and/or social services.
John
I keep going back to your tagline "Alone I break." It's true, no man is an island, and no man can survive on his own forever. You've made some tough choices in turning for support to a school therapist and your mother, and the results have been disastrous. So, keep coming here for strength and safety, and take Shadow's advice to heart - when the people you are supposed to be able to rely on for support fail you, it may be time to go to the police and/or social services.
John