stuff

[Trevor]

i feel like nobody hears me like im invisible
like the only time somebody pays attention to
me is cuz they wanna hurt me. i told my
shrink this he gave me some textbook answer.
but good news is i feel better in my head
since i been on medicine. only 2 times last week
i went into a rage. thats good for me.
but it sucks tho cuz its unpredictable like one
second i feel just fine then all of a sudden
for no reason i could fucking kill somebody then
i feel fine again then all of a sudden im so
depressed and sad and crying and wanna die and
then after that i feel fine again. the doctr wants
to send me to another doctor who works with
ptsd people. he also keeps trying to talk to me about maybe making a police report. but i
dont wanna do that anymore. i dont wanna open my mouth up about all that anymore cuz everytime i
ever tried to stand up for myself i just got
beat down and fucked up for it so im DONE with
that kind of talk ;(

 

[Kirk Wayne]

Trevor

I hear you loud and clear, I too was in that position at one time, I was a walking time bomb fuelled by alcohol and drugs and I did do some terrible things to those close to me, there is a way out but it takes time. I took many years to get us into the emotional wrecks we sometimes are when we start talking about our experiences and it will not get better in a day.

I was a lot like yurself ready to explode at any time but it came to the point where I could not hurt anyone else so I started hurting myself by actively harming myself, I was full of hate for everyone especially myself, I was a worthless peice of shit, nobody could tell me different. If they did I would instinctively ask "what do you want from me" expecting to be taken advantage of yet again and then I did trust someone one day as they have stood by me ever since and with that I started to open up, in time I disclosed and started counselling and different therapies, for PTSD and my clinical depression. Today life is a thousand times better than it was just a few years ago.

Take it easy, take your time, keep breathing and you will get there.

Best wishes

Kirk
"Lets grab this bull by the horns and swing it about a bit"

 

[roadrunner]

Trev,

Taking your meds is a great first step, and believe it or not it's a gesture of trust on your part. That's very important. You are saying something we all need to say at some point: "Help me".

I know how confusing and frustrating all this can be, but remember, this problem didn't get this bad in a day, and it won't be solved in a day.

You may at some point want to make the police report, but from what I know of you bro, this isn't the time. Make YOURSELF the first priority here! You deserve it.

That feeling of being invisible...man, how many of us know that one! But we all care about you Trev, and we all support you and want to help in whatever way we can. There's another one to remember.

Much love,
Larry

 

[wojax]

Trevor, I too was like that PTSD will do that to you and then through Depression on top of that. I can hear you very clearly. I will tell you if you will take your medication you will start to feel better soon. Get out take walks go to the movies. Stop seting around thinking al the time. And, remember your brothers in here are just a click away, We hear you and we care

Gary