Stuck! Looking back, but needing to go forward

Stuck! Looking back, but needing to go forward
D

direwolf

Registrant
Hello All - I am grateful to have found this site. This is my first post, have so much to say/ask, but at a loss for where to start.

Maybe that is a start. I have been in therapy for the past 2 years for trauma that happened 27 years ago. I feel there is so much that I don't know that I can only learn from other survivors.

I am stuck. I want to move forward, but I feel compelled to ask questions about how the SA has impacted me...like:

- Why do I struggle being intimate with my wife?
- Why did I act out with strangers and put myself in precarious situations?
- Why am I an alcoholic and addict? (6 months clean!)

I know there aren't simple answers and not everything can be directly tied to my SA.

Perhaps gaining perspective of others' responses to SA and their path to recovery will help me.

Thanks in advance...
 
Welcome to MS Direwolf

the first post is always the hardest - in time the questions will come flowing out of you - give yourself the time - browse your way around the site - there is lots of good info to be found here - and there are many good people here who have been through simmilar pasts that will try to help in any way they can...

Welcome,

TJ jeff
 
Hello Friend,

Glad you found us. Welcome to our clubhouse. Sorry about what brings you here and why you need to ask these questins.

You've asked a mouthful. I'm not sure I have the words to answer them although there are answers. There are others here who can probably put into words at least some of the answers for you. I cannot,at least at the moment. I'm sort of emotionaly drained. I know that many, if not most of us here have asked the same ones. We understand what it is like to cry out in shame and anger, and no one seems to care.

I think you will find that the guys here care. This is one of the most loving, supportive places I've ever been. Feel free to ask any question you like. There are no stupid questions here. Say what ever is on your mind, rant if you need to, cry should you feel like it. We'll respond in kind, and try to help you along this path we call "recovery".

Lots of love,

John
 
in my case when i posted my full story on this site ,most of the answers to your questions were right there in front of me in my story ,the wonderfull people here helped me see the answers and ,changing the things that caused these questions is the hard part. all the questions have the same answer ,they are all effects of abuse of any kind .changing how we think or were taught to think is not so easy . adam
 
Direwolf,
Welcome. There are no easy answers to your questions. I would suggest that most of what you are describing is attributable to SA and the fallout from SA. Glad you found us, sorry you needed to. Peace, Andrew
 
Hi Direwolf WELCOME
- Why do I struggle being intimate with my wife?
- Why did I act out with strangers and put myself in precarious situations?
- Why am I an alcoholic and addict? (6 months clean!)
Click to expand...
I can relate to all these.
I would say from my experence most of your problems come from the effects of the abuse.

There is lots of great post here and many great ones in the old post from years ago also. So read away and ask ? when you have them.

Congrates on being clean 6 months. I have been trying but can hardly make it 6 days. Tom
 
Thanks to each of you for your response. It is great to know that I have a resource to count on.

Interesting point that the answers to my questions are right in front of me. I think I have denied for so long, and continue to, deny the impact of my abuse.


I guess changing the way I think takes time and active work. A lifetime of work.

Tom - At least you are trying. That is the first step. You only have to do it one day at a time.

Thanks again guys
 
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