struggling

struggling
S

scarman

Registrant
Hey Guys, not doing so well lately. I've been trying, but it is getting abit overwelming. Just seems like too many things coming at me at once. I think I could deal with them if they were separte. But, bad things really seem to build on each other for me. I just wish i could have the life I want. I know i deserve good things, but it's just not happening. I feel as though i've suffered enough, I want to get on with my life and I fuckin want it now. But too much shit has piled up and it is getting harder and harder to climb out of the hole I've dug for myself.

I'm trying.....it's just been really hard lately

shawn
 
Shawn: I have been where you are. When will I see the light at the end of the tunnel.

In my case I would get flashes of it and then it would be gone. Really frustrating. When it did not get better immediately I would fall back into the same old pattern of: Yeh why should it be good for me I am worthless and no good. Then of course the downward spiral would start again.
When I realized it was my SA that blocked absolutely everything from me I learned to deal directly with it. I transferred my anger to them. That anger was not only because of the SA but also all the other stuff I struggled so hard for and they blocked from me.
I think that a breakthrough came for me when I started to look at myself and realize that basically I was a good man that deserved better out of life.

Hope this helps
PS Spring is coming and it is a time of renewal and rebirth. Get out into nature and be a part of it. Long walks in cool but fresh evenings. Early morning walks or jogs with the sun disbursing the mist.
 
Sometimes its the hardest thing in the world to keep moving when you're getting hit from all sides by all kinds of regular, and then some not so regular crap. It gets especially hard when you don't see an end in sight.

But.

I took it left foot, right foot, left foot. Even then it can be hard as hell sometimes. But when you have taken a few steps, acknowledge it. Reward yourself for it in some way (with me, its a comic book). I think its important to recognize those times and reward yourself, because its like setting a marker. So when a hard time comes, you can look back at your markers and see you have progressed. Kind of like creating little places of light or hope for yourself, not in where you are going, but from where you have been. I'm now starting to set markers in front of me, which is something I never thought I'd be able to do.

A few people, who I've spoken to about the difficulty of just taking one step at a time told me early on that it will get better. A little easier maybe. At the time, it was hard to even imagine that. To be completely honest, I was kind of cynical about it, thinking 'yeah, right'.
I'm glad to say I was wrong on that count. It has gotten better. It has gotten a little easier. It got that way (and still is getting that way) one step at a time. I have my bad days, who doesn't? But it is getting better.

Hang in there.
 
Scarman,Nothin can beat you,man.Run the race with honor.The scars have taught us to be able to fight the next battle.YOU WILL DIG YOUR WAY OUT!! YOU WILL GET THE LIFE YOU DESERVE!! STAY STRONG!!/////facetherace
 
scarman - try to breath and grab hold of the anger - harness it - focus on each thing separately and make a structure for doing what you need to do to keep your daily routine going
- real organized -
try not to get down on yourself but rather focus on pointing your force toward your goal(s)- not completely outward - but so you see what's ahead -

hope this is helpful
 
Shawn - at this time of the year, some people in England put shit (cow dung) around the roots of their Rose Bushes - come Summer Time those Roses are usually the best & brightest you can find.

Moral - shit can make you bloom!

Best wishes ...Rik (sorry if that sounds flippant but think about it).
 
Shawn,

Things can get overwelming at times, personal experience speaking here, and make little things seem like mountains that can't be climbed. Not all the things that are mounting need your complete and immediate attention, push those to the side and forget about them until you are ready for them.

You are building the life you want. Each and everyday something on it gets done. Remember, Rome wasn't built in a day. I woke up today and immediately saw a good thing - the sun was shining. Later I had one of the best tasting cups of coffee I ever had. Many times we fail to see the good that is all around us. We sometimes must remind ourselves that it is there, right in front of us. I can't count how many times I failed to even notice that the sun was shining or if the coffee was good or not.

Toss of the worries that don't need your attention, see the good stuff that is all around. Take the sense that the good around you is for you to enjoy.

Take Care,
Bill
 
Shawn,

I'm sorry it is so hard for you right now. I think that everyone here can relate to struggling, and how it goes up and down. It does seem often like it all piles up at same time, and becomes so difficult. Try your best to have patience with yourself during this, and know that it will lighten up at times. I wish you good luck.

leosha
 
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