Struggles in therapy
WanderingSpaceTurtle
Registrant
Kind of a vent here, not seeking validation, but more sharing the struggle and frustrations.
I don't know how often others have struggles, though I assume it's pretty common, if not universal. My background: I spent 10+ years trying to get some sort of therapy: group, talk, CBT, EMDR, whatever. Kept getting turned down, either for sliding scale (and couldn't afford it/insurance never covers a dime), and finally found one. Secondarily, I've struggled to trust them.
A couple days ago they shattered what I'd built -when there was a billing issue. Normally the therapist is 5-15 minutes late (we only have online sessions since they live across the state - couldn't find a therapist in a 2+ hour drive radius). About a month ago they completely skipped out on a session. I'd thought of cancelling it because that morning I'd received a call that my father in law had died (obviously devastating news). So I waited for the therapist, who flaked out. I sent a text, and they replied that they'd slept in, and thanked me for being gracious with them.
Fast forward two weeks later - still dealing with the family issues, my phone started acting odd, and I missed the appointment, summarily charged.
I spoke with the therapist two weeks later, when we had our next session, expressed the ethical dilemma that they're not held accountable. I was met with being called self righteous, that I wasn't "better than anyone," the therapist claiming I was angry with them, and outright saying they expected this and chose it anyway. The trust breaking happened when they said that they'd given me "extra time" despite being late every single meeting. I had repeatedly (almost every meeting) noted the time, and was told "not to worry about it" and that it was their choice. Then they use it against me. The therapist even said that I might not want to speak to them again prior to spitting out their judgment. They crossed several lines which I have repeatedly, and clearly, defined.
I contacted the owner of the therapy business yesterday and outright terminated all contact, no followup, no reason given. They're curious, but otherwise didn't argue with me.
My first and last therapist....I am disgusted at their dishonest, untrustworthy, disrespectful behavior, to the point that any other words that would come about or to them would be pretty horrible. I'm leaving it at that and moving forward - at least having a better idea if how I function, where the triggers are, and ways I can deal with them, so it's not like therapy was a total loss, but it indeed helped further cement my notion that people are not worth trusting. I've been with them for about a year, so they very well knew what they were doing.
At least there are hints of anonymity in posting online. Not looking for validation or condolences....just venting, putting it out there, and moving on. Thanks to anyone who read this.
I don't know how often others have struggles, though I assume it's pretty common, if not universal. My background: I spent 10+ years trying to get some sort of therapy: group, talk, CBT, EMDR, whatever. Kept getting turned down, either for sliding scale (and couldn't afford it/insurance never covers a dime), and finally found one. Secondarily, I've struggled to trust them.
A couple days ago they shattered what I'd built -when there was a billing issue. Normally the therapist is 5-15 minutes late (we only have online sessions since they live across the state - couldn't find a therapist in a 2+ hour drive radius). About a month ago they completely skipped out on a session. I'd thought of cancelling it because that morning I'd received a call that my father in law had died (obviously devastating news). So I waited for the therapist, who flaked out. I sent a text, and they replied that they'd slept in, and thanked me for being gracious with them.
Fast forward two weeks later - still dealing with the family issues, my phone started acting odd, and I missed the appointment, summarily charged.
I spoke with the therapist two weeks later, when we had our next session, expressed the ethical dilemma that they're not held accountable. I was met with being called self righteous, that I wasn't "better than anyone," the therapist claiming I was angry with them, and outright saying they expected this and chose it anyway. The trust breaking happened when they said that they'd given me "extra time" despite being late every single meeting. I had repeatedly (almost every meeting) noted the time, and was told "not to worry about it" and that it was their choice. Then they use it against me. The therapist even said that I might not want to speak to them again prior to spitting out their judgment. They crossed several lines which I have repeatedly, and clearly, defined.
I contacted the owner of the therapy business yesterday and outright terminated all contact, no followup, no reason given. They're curious, but otherwise didn't argue with me.
My first and last therapist....I am disgusted at their dishonest, untrustworthy, disrespectful behavior, to the point that any other words that would come about or to them would be pretty horrible. I'm leaving it at that and moving forward - at least having a better idea if how I function, where the triggers are, and ways I can deal with them, so it's not like therapy was a total loss, but it indeed helped further cement my notion that people are not worth trusting. I've been with them for about a year, so they very well knew what they were doing.
At least there are hints of anonymity in posting online. Not looking for validation or condolences....just venting, putting it out there, and moving on. Thanks to anyone who read this.
