Stressed out (Triggers)

[Dewey2k]

I am so stressed out that it's making me physically ill. I've been gritting my teeth, haven't been able to eat or sleep much, and my whole body is tense. My kids are suffering for it as well, because I'm irritable to the point of irrationality. Short of medication, I dont know what else to do, and it's only getting worse.

I have to write a letter to my perp before my T appointment tomorrow night. I know what I want to say, but I'm really scared to go there- so much anger and hate... I don't think I'm able to go there. I don't feel safe enough to do it here at home.

 

[Dewey2k]

Okay, I figured out a lot of my stress has to do with my wife's presence. She just got home and my stress went through the roof.

 

[roadrunner]

Dewey,

Your T probably wants you to write the letter specifically because there is so much emotion that needs to find an outlet. Judging from your posts here yesterday, sounds like that was a clever call.

Would it be possible to find a safe place outside your home where you can sit and focus and write the letter? You need some place where you wouldn't normally go; later on that place may be a trigger for you because you wrote the letter there, so you don't want to ruin your memories of a place you already like. A local library, coffeeshop, cafe, even a fast food place when it isn't busy -you just need a quiet place, not a usual haunt, where you can write without feeling you are in a storm.

Take care and be strong okay? Your T may also be able to suggest ways of coping with these high stress levels.

Larry

 

[Dewey2k]

I managed to write a half-page last night that (aside from various profanities and curses) consisted of two questions: How could he do what he did to me, and does he have any idea how much he hurt me?

Of course I'll never have the answers from my perp considering his mouldering corpse is feeding worms.