Strength from poetry
As a little boy i felt so unwanted..constantly scared my spirit was haunted..one day i ran away to worry my mother..to see if she cared why did i bother..to think that she worried she never batted an eye..so i did it again and started to cry..booze and drugs caused my rebellion..so i then turned her in because she was selling..later that year i remember thinking..she could'nt run from the law due to her drinking..even my brother who lacked the wherewithal..to care about me and yet he would quibble..i was no angel i'll be the first to admit..but abuse your own child you're full of shit..we all have our secrets most of us do..but to abandon me , i hate you..god seems to work in mysterious ways..thats why she's dead, hooray..i never hated anyone more then my own mother..that will never change,is it any wonder..i'll never forget the things that she said..oh for example "i wish you were dead"..will i somehow forget the way she treated me..i doubt it there was to much misery..she damaged my soul beyond repair..i turned out pretty good dispite the dispair..there were many a night i rocked and i rolled..emotionally wounded or so i was told..i'm pretty insightful thats very clear..there are things in my life that i hold dear..i will never again be scorned or shamed..and used as your scapegoat therefore be blamed..i miss my nana oh so much..what i miss most is her gentle touch..she ALWAYS made me feel like i mattered..even though she knew my emotions were scattered..i can't even tell you how proud i am..for dealing with my past , yes i'm the man..if you live in the past you die in the past..not me i'll pass..i'm a survivor of so many things..and yet i made it , bling..the reality of my childhood.. was disheartening and no good..i'll end here on a positive note..i"m a good man with no need to boast.The end.I can only hope those who have or are dealing with their past this will help them understand that YOU ARE NOT ALONE.Rich C