Still at it !!!!!!

Brokebloke

Registrant
Hi all brand new here. 53 yrs old and been in therapy for 20 years on and off. First sexual assault happened at 5 told me that money comes out of your bum and that he new how to get it out, after he'd finished he gave me a hand full of small change. Suffered various other sexual abuses up to the age of 14. Constant physical, emotional abuse abandonment along with witnessing deaths and violence. Been hospitilized with drug and alcohol issues and been admitted to phychiatric unit have been diagnosed with ptsd with dissociative disorders and substance abuse disorder. The thing that has really been the catalyst for my crippling anxiety shame and guilt is for behaviours and impulses that I didn't seem able to control I felt I was a passenger and not the driver of my own vehicle. Anyway thanks for taking time to read if you do. I look forward to participating here :)
 
I felt I was a passenger and not the driver of my own vehicle.
I, too, was raped at 5 years of age. I, too, have felt that I was a passenger and not the driver of my own vehicle. I have learned - am learning - to give the keys to God (Christ). Or to use the words of the 12 step program, "Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood God." or, "Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of a "Higher Power" as we understood that "Higher Power" to be."

Welcome. Peace and healing to you.
 

Horizon

Registrant
Welcome Bloke

I am truly sorry you needed to find us. I wish there were no need for this site

But you will find support and understanding here like I have
 
You're a member of the club no one wishes to join. The only good part about it is that here we can tell the truth about our experiences and will both be understood and supported. No matter how late in life we are when we decide it is time to explore what healing might look like, it is a worthwhile thing to do. You are NOT alone with any of this Bloke! We know this territory from first hand experience and will be honored to share this part of your journey with you. Wander around the website... visit the many forums and when it feels right, join the conversation. You are welcome to be part of this community. All the best to you.
 

Brokebloke

Registrant
I, too, was raped at 5 years of age. I, too, have felt that I was a passenger and not the driver of my own vehicle. I have learned - am learning - to give the keys to God (Christ). Or to use the words of the 12 step program, "Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood God." or, "Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of a "Higher Power" as we understood that "Higher Power" to be."

Welcome. Peace and healing to you.
Thanks for the reply it means alot look I forward to getting involved :)
 

Brokebloke

Registrant
You're a member of the club no one wishes to join. The only good part about it is that here we can tell the truth about our experiences and will both be understood and supported. No matter how late in life we are when we decide it is time to explore what healing might look like, it is a worthwhile thing to do. You are NOT alone with any of this Bloke! We know this territory from first hand experience and will be honored to share this part of your journey with you. Wander around the website... visit the many forums and when it feels right, join the conversation. You are welcome to be part of this community. All the best to you.
Thanks for your kind reply I'm very happy to have found this place :)
 

Brokebloke

Registrant
You're a member of the club no one wishes to join. The only good part about it is that here we can tell the truth about our experiences and will both be understood and supported. No matter how late in life we are when we decide it is time to explore what healing might look like, it is a worthwhile thing to do. You are NOT alone with any of this Bloke! We know this territory from first hand experience and will be honored to share this part of your journey with you. Wander around the website... visit the many forums and when it feels right, join the conversation. You are welcome to be part of this community. All the best to you.
Thanks for the the kind message not to good with IT stuff so hope I do things right :)
 

WG

Registrant
Hello, Bloke and as has been said, welcome but sorry for the reasons that brought you here. I told no one until I was just over 50 - like you. Mine was not as violent, but it was still a few years of sexual abuse from a neighbor when I was between 5 and 7. Stay with the therapy, it can help. Also, we're here to walk with you on this road.
 

Brokebloke

Registrant
You're a member of the club no one wishes to join. The only good part about it is that here we can tell the truth about our experiences and will both be understood and supported. No matter how late in life we are when we decide it is time to explore what healing might look like, it is a worthwhile thing to do. You are NOT alone with any of this Bloke! We know this territory from first hand experience and will be honored to share this part of your journey with you. Wander around the website... visit the many forums and when it feels right, join the conversation. You are welcome to be part of this community. All the best to you.
Hello, Bloke and as has been said, welcome but sorry for the reasons that brought you here. I told no one until I was just over 50 - like you. Mine was not as violent, but it was still a few years of sexual abuse from a neighbor when I was between 5 and 7. Stay with the therapy, it can help. Also, we're here to walk with you on this road.
Thanks WG it means alot :)
 
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