starting today!
I used to see myself in terms of a continuum, but now I see there's a lot of danger in that. It means always building on the past.
I think there are other ways of building. Honoring our dreams and deepest feelings of rightness is one of them.
I'm trying to forget all the rules.
I had thought it was great to be a survivor in that I was still here and still fighting the good fight. Now I'm beginning to see that I'd rather just step out of the ring and let the fight go on without me! No more survivor, but just ME, in the fullest sense of the word, not a victim or a survivor but HEALED.
The continuum idea means we can't just start over. But I deny that restriction. If we only really exist in the present, then the only thing that really matters is the set of decisions we make in the moment. No more fixing the past or the me that suffered the past. I don't want to be touched by it anymore. Instead I want each day to be the only day. No previous days I have to make up for or apologize for or live for. Just now. Very simple. Basically it all adds up to getting up and doing something rather than sitting and passively existing.
I'm tired of the passive and ready for the active.
So how do we do it?
Can it really be as easy as I think it is? I'm seeing more and more forcefully that doing it means very simply allowing each act to arise as though this were the first day of life. Banishing the past not in the sense of burying it, but in the sense of denying its power and honoring our deepest sense of right and wrong. If at the end of the day all my actions have been right actions, I have had a beautiful day. And no one can take it away from me.
So I ask, "should I do something constructive today?" And I try super hard to listen to the voice that says YES! It knows the simple truth that all life is motion and that regret and fear/paralysis is the void. Nothing exists in the void, and no matter how scary the motion may be, it is always the healthy way to go.
Danny
I think there are other ways of building. Honoring our dreams and deepest feelings of rightness is one of them.
I'm trying to forget all the rules.
I had thought it was great to be a survivor in that I was still here and still fighting the good fight. Now I'm beginning to see that I'd rather just step out of the ring and let the fight go on without me! No more survivor, but just ME, in the fullest sense of the word, not a victim or a survivor but HEALED.
The continuum idea means we can't just start over. But I deny that restriction. If we only really exist in the present, then the only thing that really matters is the set of decisions we make in the moment. No more fixing the past or the me that suffered the past. I don't want to be touched by it anymore. Instead I want each day to be the only day. No previous days I have to make up for or apologize for or live for. Just now. Very simple. Basically it all adds up to getting up and doing something rather than sitting and passively existing.
I'm tired of the passive and ready for the active.
So how do we do it?
Can it really be as easy as I think it is? I'm seeing more and more forcefully that doing it means very simply allowing each act to arise as though this were the first day of life. Banishing the past not in the sense of burying it, but in the sense of denying its power and honoring our deepest sense of right and wrong. If at the end of the day all my actions have been right actions, I have had a beautiful day. And no one can take it away from me.
So I ask, "should I do something constructive today?" And I try super hard to listen to the voice that says YES! It knows the simple truth that all life is motion and that regret and fear/paralysis is the void. Nothing exists in the void, and no matter how scary the motion may be, it is always the healthy way to go.
Danny