Standing in queues may triggr

Standing in queues may triggr
R

reality2k4

Registrant
I hate standing in queues, it irritates me. I find that standing in a queue is OK sometimes, but other times it is big triggers for me.

I was standing in a long queue because it was lottery day, at my local hypermarket, and my legs just felt like jelly, why? Because there was a group of young guys behind me.

My mind just switched into fear mode, and I felt like just ditching out of the queue, because the people in front of me were so long at buying stoopid things and meandering.

It happened in another shop were I had to queue, and if I could not hold on to something then I would just get panicked.

It is just like an irrational fear, and wow, it needs so much control to stop it, so I try now to avoid times were there are going to be long queues.

Sometimes I am OK though, so it must be triggers, some of which I can identify with, but others I cannot be aware of.

Does it ever end?

ste
 
I have trouble in large groups such as at the 4th July in Washington DC after the fireworks ended. It made me feel jumpy that if I fell that no one would notice and I would be stomped.

I agree with ste that it seems to never end and I need so much to control not freaking out.

Chuck
 
Thanks Chuck, for not being judgemental in the issue I raised here.

I suppose I go back to the little kid who got stomped all over in the past.

Wow, I just have to know who is behind me at all times, and I know it is irrational fear.

I suppose that I might have looked like some frightened kid after the abuse, so maybe people gave me more attention than they would have done.

As a boy, I could not understand this extra attention, because maybe i thought that it was written all over my face.

Maybe people really did see the hurt in his face, I just dont know, but he never seeked it out.

Pain of abuse thru childhood can never be replaced, it can be softened but never replaced.

ste
 
I can't stand it when someone is in line too close behind me, I even flinch when my wife of 20 years comes up behind me and touches me gently on the shoulder or back... even when I see her coming, never used to be like that, not that I was aware of anyway.

My suggestion, not that you asked for one, would be to avoid those places where you have to stand in line, or go at a less busy time or buy your lottery tickets on-line, or have someone else pick them up for you.

My therapist advised me long ago to stop going to the YMCA to work out and swim. Why? Because that is where the abuse started, by a swim coach in the locker room and showers. It took some time before it was noticeable, but my anxiety diminished. She also told me to stop watching so much news. That too helped ease my anxiety.

I protested about not going to the Y. I felt this was something that I should be able to 'get over', not only that but I always got a better work out at a place designated for such. Turns out it was much better for me to realize I did NOT have to conquer that triggering place just to satisfy the urge to do so. That would have just been putting myself through something unnecessary. Not only that, but there are, of course, other ways to keep in shape and I am mentally healthier for taking her advice, begrudgingly.

Ok, there's my two cents, as usual. Peace to all - John
 
Large groups, standing in line, having people behind me, yes, I feel similar to you about it. In a restaurant, I have to sit with my back to the wall. In movie theater, I sit in the very back. Otherwise, I freak out to much. Not sure what the solution is, whether to force ourself to do this helps to 'get over it' or not. But I am still working at it. I wish you luck.

Leosha
 
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