SSA & Sexual Disorientation
LoneWolfX
Registrant
I think SSA & Sexual Disorientation is one of the most controversial issues on MS. It is so sensitive that I am hesitant to even bring up the topic - I am scared of screwing up even writing about it. I am not even going to bring religion into it. I have seen, through friends on MS, that the topic can be alienating for gay or bi members because sometimes it verges too close to the implication that SSA is wrong. I only came to this realization recently. At the same every individual has every right to feel what they feel and to express themselves - so if someone feels the SSA is due to CSA in their case, I don't have the right to question it. Personally I do think that CSA can bring about SSA.
And then the sexual disorientation concept. This is particularly problematic because of the negative connotation of the word disorientated - "I have SSA so I am lost". From a gay or bi person's point of view I fully appreciate that this makes it sound like SSA is bad. In a nutshell the perception SSA is an undesirable and terrible thing. On the other hand the individual experiencing this feeling of unwanted SSA is saying "I feel this SSA thing isn't really me and I feel it is due to the CSA". I appreciate that too and who am I to question it? The issue of this sexual disorientation is so complex for example innate sexuality vs sexual fluidity. The concept that perhaps everyone is sexually fluid and the CSA may have shaped that is disturbing and enraging in the extreme. And if this is framed in such a way that the "CSA made me gay", for example, we are back to turning SSA itself in to a bad thing.
I wish there was a solution. I see the argument from both sides. I see the need for members to express how CSA has affected their sexual identity and at the same time I totally get how this is often going to upset gay and bi members - if I were in their shoes I would feel alienated as well.
And then the sexual disorientation concept. This is particularly problematic because of the negative connotation of the word disorientated - "I have SSA so I am lost". From a gay or bi person's point of view I fully appreciate that this makes it sound like SSA is bad. In a nutshell the perception SSA is an undesirable and terrible thing. On the other hand the individual experiencing this feeling of unwanted SSA is saying "I feel this SSA thing isn't really me and I feel it is due to the CSA". I appreciate that too and who am I to question it? The issue of this sexual disorientation is so complex for example innate sexuality vs sexual fluidity. The concept that perhaps everyone is sexually fluid and the CSA may have shaped that is disturbing and enraging in the extreme. And if this is framed in such a way that the "CSA made me gay", for example, we are back to turning SSA itself in to a bad thing.
I wish there was a solution. I see the argument from both sides. I see the need for members to express how CSA has affected their sexual identity and at the same time I totally get how this is often going to upset gay and bi members - if I were in their shoes I would feel alienated as well.