Speaking out
This is not at all about me. I just had to write something of this here. I witnessed something so much of bravery a few hours ago, my mind spins and I am overwhelmed of how I feel about this.
A friend of mine (who some here maybe know, as he had posted here some before in the past year) recently retired from competing at high level sport. Being a minor celebrity (at least) in his home city, he was asked to be on a local television show (think of 'Regis and Kelly' meets your local community closed-access television; the idea of one, the production quality of the other), to give his input on the current state of sport, what his future plans are, what athletes to watch for in the next few seasons, etc. As one of the hosts is a former athlete herself, he agreed, and happened to ask what the other segments of the show were about (there are usually 3 segments each show). One of them was to be about child abuse. Pure coincidence.
He had about a week between being asked to do the show and then doing it. My friend, who is still rather new to the 'healing' process, decided that a sports overview was far less importent. And so, chose to continue the previous segment. I am paraphrasing some of this segment, which was possibly mentally prepared, but totally unrehearsed in front of television and live audience:
'What was spoken of just minutes ago, it is far more importence then what I would speak here. It deserves further discussion, and I think it proper that we can discuss some more. Because as so very good it is, the information you gave about child abuse, and how it is so not spoken, and how much damage it is, I think only rightly, it can only be told how much the damage, by one who knows it.
You spoke much about abuse, that it occurs, all ages, all classes of persons. But there was small error. It happens not only to girls, which is what you so much speak of. It happens to boys also. All ages boys, all kinds of boys, and all kinds of abuse.
You do not 'know' that someone is being abused because of who they are, or their family. My father was police officer. Much awarded police officer. He also would come home and beat his family. His wife. His children. All the time. He is dead now. I can say this.
Boys, even as girls are, can also be abused sexually. It is not thought of. It is so much not spoke of, even to girls. But to boys? What stupid, what damaged, what defect kind of boy could allow that to happen? Any boy. Any age. Gay boys. Straight boys. Little, very small children. Teenagers. As I have lived in America in recent years, I hear it, so much now, there is female teachers, who are found to have relations with their students, young boy students, teenage boys students. That is suppose to not be a problem, right? It is teaching the boy about sex, creating a man. No, it is not. That woman, do not create a man. She create a victim.
Abuse happen in all kinds of homes, to all kinds of children. My father, who is dead, by God, he was physical monster, who enjoyed to cause physical harm with abuse. My mother, who is not dead, was as the women teachers. She abused sexually, and yes, it was to a boy, not girl. Was to me.'
(This was followed by short question and answers from the host, who is out of her element, not expecting this interview)
'I can not tell you all the effects of this, what it does to the person, what it does to the soul. But I can tell you. It is not corrected and forgotten in a short time. It is not forgotten ever. Corrected? Maybe. But certain, I am not there yet.
I do not wish to create such uncomfortable feelings, as that was not what I was asked to be here today for. But uncomfortable feelings happen with abuse. Any kind of abuse. Certainly for the survivor of it. And also, to anyone human, true human, who hear or see of it.
It is fact that 1 of 3 girls will be sexually abused before age of adult. And 1 of 6 boys, that is only of boys who report it. Look around you. One third of the women have been abused. How many boys, truly? One fifth? One fourth? It must stop, the damage is to great, and it is not a 'forgive it, move on' issue. If you damage a child in this way, you damage the adult the become.
You protect your children on the street. You protect them, keep them home of school when they are sick. Protect them from a greater danger. One that will harm them even into being an adult. You may save their life. Because there are abuse victims. And there are abuse survivors. One is not always the next.'
I find this amazing. Not only the words, from a normally very quiet and reserved person. Not the fact that it was on television, and before a live audience, opening him up for more scrutiny then I think he could imagine. What amazes me most, it is the first time I have ever first hand, witnessed such a speaking out about personal past. And I am very proud to call this person friend.
Leosha
(By the way, it was okay'ed by the person involved to post this here)
A friend of mine (who some here maybe know, as he had posted here some before in the past year) recently retired from competing at high level sport. Being a minor celebrity (at least) in his home city, he was asked to be on a local television show (think of 'Regis and Kelly' meets your local community closed-access television; the idea of one, the production quality of the other), to give his input on the current state of sport, what his future plans are, what athletes to watch for in the next few seasons, etc. As one of the hosts is a former athlete herself, he agreed, and happened to ask what the other segments of the show were about (there are usually 3 segments each show). One of them was to be about child abuse. Pure coincidence.
He had about a week between being asked to do the show and then doing it. My friend, who is still rather new to the 'healing' process, decided that a sports overview was far less importent. And so, chose to continue the previous segment. I am paraphrasing some of this segment, which was possibly mentally prepared, but totally unrehearsed in front of television and live audience:
'What was spoken of just minutes ago, it is far more importence then what I would speak here. It deserves further discussion, and I think it proper that we can discuss some more. Because as so very good it is, the information you gave about child abuse, and how it is so not spoken, and how much damage it is, I think only rightly, it can only be told how much the damage, by one who knows it.
You spoke much about abuse, that it occurs, all ages, all classes of persons. But there was small error. It happens not only to girls, which is what you so much speak of. It happens to boys also. All ages boys, all kinds of boys, and all kinds of abuse.
You do not 'know' that someone is being abused because of who they are, or their family. My father was police officer. Much awarded police officer. He also would come home and beat his family. His wife. His children. All the time. He is dead now. I can say this.
Boys, even as girls are, can also be abused sexually. It is not thought of. It is so much not spoke of, even to girls. But to boys? What stupid, what damaged, what defect kind of boy could allow that to happen? Any boy. Any age. Gay boys. Straight boys. Little, very small children. Teenagers. As I have lived in America in recent years, I hear it, so much now, there is female teachers, who are found to have relations with their students, young boy students, teenage boys students. That is suppose to not be a problem, right? It is teaching the boy about sex, creating a man. No, it is not. That woman, do not create a man. She create a victim.
Abuse happen in all kinds of homes, to all kinds of children. My father, who is dead, by God, he was physical monster, who enjoyed to cause physical harm with abuse. My mother, who is not dead, was as the women teachers. She abused sexually, and yes, it was to a boy, not girl. Was to me.'
(This was followed by short question and answers from the host, who is out of her element, not expecting this interview)
'I can not tell you all the effects of this, what it does to the person, what it does to the soul. But I can tell you. It is not corrected and forgotten in a short time. It is not forgotten ever. Corrected? Maybe. But certain, I am not there yet.
I do not wish to create such uncomfortable feelings, as that was not what I was asked to be here today for. But uncomfortable feelings happen with abuse. Any kind of abuse. Certainly for the survivor of it. And also, to anyone human, true human, who hear or see of it.
It is fact that 1 of 3 girls will be sexually abused before age of adult. And 1 of 6 boys, that is only of boys who report it. Look around you. One third of the women have been abused. How many boys, truly? One fifth? One fourth? It must stop, the damage is to great, and it is not a 'forgive it, move on' issue. If you damage a child in this way, you damage the adult the become.
You protect your children on the street. You protect them, keep them home of school when they are sick. Protect them from a greater danger. One that will harm them even into being an adult. You may save their life. Because there are abuse victims. And there are abuse survivors. One is not always the next.'
I find this amazing. Not only the words, from a normally very quiet and reserved person. Not the fact that it was on television, and before a live audience, opening him up for more scrutiny then I think he could imagine. What amazes me most, it is the first time I have ever first hand, witnessed such a speaking out about personal past. And I am very proud to call this person friend.
Leosha
(By the way, it was okay'ed by the person involved to post this here)
