Sorry for the ramble, but thanks.
Thanks for the support. I'm not really sure where things will go from here. Seeing a therapist, I dont know. Wife is going back to school full time, one income all that. Been a cop in a rural area. If I were to see a therapist, everyone and his dog would know. I thought I had things under control. Never was a people person. Would rather spend time under a hood than with a lot of people. Machines are predictable, easy to understand, and never question you. Went through the drinking stage. Never shed a tear though. When my son was born was the first time I cried that I can remember. I dont know why I did it then. Now its hard not to break down. I never could confront the abuser. I still dont think I can. It would destroy an entire family. I suspect he got the same from his grandfather. Another uncle confided in my mom that he had been abused by the grandfather. Not trying to make excuses. I know there are people who really don't know right from wrong, but this is not the case. Asshole knew what he was doing, took the opportunity when he could. Most people know right from wrong and chose to be worthless shitbags. It stopped when I started getting bigger and harder to handle. I think he knew it was a matter of time before it would turn bad for him. Finally fought back the last time. I still blame my self for letting it happen at all. There were opportunities to fight, but I didn't. Scared? Shocked? I dont know. I dont know what I'll do, but I would like to return here. I dont contribute much other than ramble, but right now it's the closest thing to talking to someone I can manage. Hope ya'll dont mind. Dont really know what to say exactly. Thanks for your time,
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