Sometimes i wonder is this how my life is gonna be like

[Trayquon]

I was raped and/or molested from the time I was about ten til i was about fifteen. Since then i have mentally dealt with how I view myself as a man. I just wonder will I ever just move on or will I always have to deal with the issues of my past. I have been in relationships since then, just not sure if they were the right gender.

 

[John Oarc]

The term survivor is a life long lable and yes it does stick with you for a while until one day you kind of feel like you are no longer thinking in terms of recovery but life is a learning experience and learning is life long. Welcome to the site, I just noticed the new here part sorry. Therapy is always the first question out of the box and there is a reason, you will benefit from professional guidance with SA and Rape if you are not already seeing a T. I lived for twenty plus years without knowing or not wanting to know about my problems and that is the first step, admitting you need help and it is a doosy. You are on the right path my friend hang in here my fellow MS brothers will be coming soon and they will provide you with more insight, we are here for you and we will help as much as we can but like I said the Therapist is the place to start.

God Bless,

 

[Morning Star]

tray, I am happy that you have made your first and perhaps the most important post, here. we are all doing what you are doing here that is outing our issues and throwing them out for discussion and in the process healing our wounds and eventually learning to empower ourselves thru the learnings of our life experiences; john said rightly life is an extended journey of empowerment.

 

[roadrunner]

tray,

Welcome to Male Survivor. I hope the site will help you to deal with that issue of sexual confusion, but also a lot of other things that will come up.

Sexual confusion is a common problem among survivors. Our sense of boundaries was destroyed as a boy, and when we were young abuse taught us that we were worthless and not good for anything else. It's difficult to sort that out now, in adulthood, but it can be done and ultimately what we get back is our life and a confident sense of where we belong in the world.

A T is always the best way to go for such problems, and this place is also a wonderful resource. Hang in there.

Much love,
Larry

 

[blueelectron9]

i have mentally dealt with how I view myself as a man

Although I don't question my sexuality, I can't say that I've made it to the stage of mentally dealing with how I view myself as a man.

My father instilled a lot of what I now know to be misconceptions about manhood; perhaps a subject of many posts on this board. More confusing was that I identified as gay and thought for a while that while others in school called me names, I thought if they could "see" that I was gay then they could also see that I've been abused sexually by my mother. I thought the two went hand-in-hand.

I concur with JO and know first hand that, for me, recovery is a nonlinear process. When the day is done, though, I have to say I always seem to come out ahead--I work through the moments as they come up and try to enjoy my life when I get a reprieve.

I hope you can find your answer,
Scotty