The past few days I have been lamenting what I've lost due to my adverse experiences (having a college degree, a job, a family, etc). But today I've realized I've had gifts from these experiences too. I have the luxury of doing volunteer work that is sorely needed,. Since I'm not a father, I can focus on being the uncle that everyone needs. I've also learned a lot. Both men and women need both men and women. I don't think we need romance. But I've benefited from good relationships with both. As a man, i am able to scare away predatory men. I think more and more women are realizing their strength in scaring off abusive women. I'm still learning how to tell my story (and the story of a tragically large number of men) without comparing to women. I think we truly need more support for female survivors. I don't need to contrast between that and male survivors. I think most women find it just as unacceptable that in the entire state of Minnesota, there isn't a single male-only sexual abuse support group. Not EVEN at the Twin Cities Men's Center. Yes I realize my experience makes people uncomfortable. Discomfort is part of growth. Yes, I've seen "rapey" comments from guys and have had to cut some out of my life. I think most women either are aware or are receptive to be aware that I have seen and heard a lot of these comments from women. Due to finally dealing with my trauma, I've gained trust in a lot of people,,,, and helped others heal too. If it hadn't been for my possible stroke, i never would have met a lot of super awesome people
I've gotten so much support and even allies. Even people I know only to a limited extent I have grown to respect greatly. I don't think it's so unusual that there are a few people, however, who I will leave a business to avoid. I'm learning to deal with the dicotomy of people i value and even enjoy spending time with,. But who seam to be wilfully ignorant. I think the more people who are aware of the burdens many other people deal with the better. And it's a two-way street. I simply didn't know many of the things that affect others. I also think those who truly are outright biggoted don't have the respect of their own communities. Lack of Awareness doesn't imply guilt. Yes, Black people, including Black police officers, face à greater risk of being shot. It's not my fault. But now that I'm aware I can learn to do something about it. The same is true for all demographic groups
