Someone hit the Pause button on the V C R of my life

[Chey-Wy]

God I hope I can make it through the next month. I just got a call from my T's office to let me know that he is sick today. ( I had an appointment with him today at 1:00) Had everyting that I wanted to talk to him about written down on a note ... and alloted time for each issue. The big issue is that he will be leaving on Thursday on Vacation and won't be back until after Christmas. I don't know about anyone else but I always seem to get more depressed durring the Holiday's. Also, my regular T and I met with another T last session to get things set up for EMDR. I asked the secretary about what was going to happen with that and was told that I would not be able to start the EMDR until we had had at least one more combined therapy session.

The other issue is that My attorney says that probably nothing more will happen until after Christmas with my case. " The church is busy dealing with all the special activities of Christmas" Just the SOSDD (Same Old Shit Different Day) with them. They have been blowing my complaint off for 10 years ..... what is another month.

Just feeling down today. I really needed to see my T. Had a shitty Thanksgiving .... and it looks like things aren't going to get any better until after New Years.

Thanks for listening guys.

John

 

[Roy]

As I always say to myself starting around mid-November, "batten down the hatches", and ride out the storm. I hate this time of year, too, for many the reasons you describe in your post. The whole world seems to grind to a halt. In the past, during worse times for me, I have survived the holidays by just going on auto-pilot and going through the motions of life; work, eat, sleep, watch TV, do a little work around the house, etc. This is not a good time, without adequate support, do stir up a lot of new feelings or material to work on , if you can help it. Just try to ride it out until January 2. There's not much you can do about it anyway. I feel for 'ya.

 

[Stephen_5]

The holidays are difficult for a lot of us. I think it's just being around family for me that's stressful plus my birthday's in December close to Christmas and I always hated that too. I just want to hibernate for the period from mid-November to mid-January. But that's what my dad used to do so I'm not doing that again this year. You can't fake happiness or cheerfulness but I'm trying to find the small things to help me through. I've done some volunteer work all year long and they're having a holiday celebration that I'm going to. They're all good people and I don't mind being around them at all. They know a bit about my history and they're supportive. My only suggestion is to try to be around people that you love and that love and accept you for who you are. That is the spirit of the season for me anyway.

Take good care of yourself, we'll all make it through this together.

Steve

 

[Chey-Wy]

Thanks Roy and Stephen,

You can't fake happiness or
cheerfulness

I had to laugh when I read that. All Thanksgiving weekend long my mother kept telling me "SMILE" Excuse me .... I don't feel like smiling. I don't have anything to smile about.

Also, my birthday is Thursday. I was invited out to lunch but got a call this morning that I have to be in a meeting for work all day Thursday. So much for having a nice birthday.

I'll make it through this somehow. I always do.

Thanks for all your support guys. That will probably be how I get through this.

John

 

[Lloydy]

The short days and crappy weather get to me as well, I can't spend the time outside building my 4x4 and doing all the other stuff I enjoy. Go to work int dark and get home in the dark - ugh !
Although I did make an effort tonight and had a couple of hours with the spanners by floodlight. And I enjoyed it, but the effort to rig the light and haul my arse out into the cold was big !

I know my sister in law who lives in Nova Scotia has suffered with SAD ( seasonal adjustment disorder I think ? ) and benefited from an artificial sunlight lamp. Luckily I work outside so that's not the answer for me, making the effort seems more like it !

Lloydy

 

[Wuamei]

John:

Hearing you & empathizing with you friend. For me, "Tis the Season to Be Sh*tty," starting with my birthday in mid-October, and since last year with 9-11.

Like you & many of us, I need therapy & other support the most this time of year, and have the most trouble getting it. My FM (chronic pain) tends to flare up, making everything else worse & causing more triggers. To top it off, becuz of my poor immune system I inevitably catch a couple colds or bugs that knock me out & that I have to fight a war to get up from. I'm having one now, and had to miss my therapy, massage & chiro yesterday--just too long a trip feeling like this.

So now its at least another week, if it can be worked out with the holidays. Already can't see my docs till after New Year. And got a big trip to NJ with my wife's family for Christmas, including a couple days facing my childhood demons in Manhattan. This after a packed house here over Thanksgiving...

Gonna try to enjoy this, enjoy my family, but this time of year...

So like you, like many others, I'm trying to find support here. No "live" friends to talk to about most of this stuff, certainly not fellow survivors or support groups. How about you? Do you? If so, I hope you can talk to them.

Also, John, maybe you can take out that list & share it with us here. Of course we're not T's, but maybe we can share some insights & certainly some support out of our mutual experiences, strength & hope.

Honestly, I can hardly imagine what you're going thru with the church. Of course I'm speaking here as someone who is holiday-challenged anyway, but I think they've got a lot of nerve using the celebration of the Head of their church, Jesus Christ, as an excuse to put off someone like yourself, for whom Jesus would say "STOP!" and make you a priority! Could your attorney press them on this?

John, I don't know the kind of abuse you've suffered from the church & what you're going thru with it now. However I do know the church as a whole pretty well, and have certainly suffered a great deal of spiritual, emotional, financial & verbal abuse & trauma from some in the church at times.

So if you want to talk about it here or in PM, well, I'll probably be hanging around here a lot thru the holidays, looking to share mutual support...

Take care John

Wuame