Some Stupid Jokes


And do you know how Stevie Wonder got his name??

"I wonder .. I wonder .. I wonder where my keyboard is!"


I had to take my phone away from my dog cause he was abusing his roll-over minutes.

My neighborhood, crime is so bad the door to the police station has a peephole.

Im not worried about identity theft. I mean, who the hell would want to be me :)


A kid was drawing a picture in her second grade class and not paying attention to the teacher. The teacher walked over to her and asked what she was drawing.
The girl responded "I'm drawing a picture of God"
The teacher said: "Don't be silly, nobody knows what God looks like."
The girl replied: "They will now."


A frustrated man was walking along the side of the road, and as he passed another man asked, "How far is it to the nearest gas station?"

"About a mile and a half as the crow flies."

"How far, if the crow is walking, and carrying a gas can?"


A man was in Israel on vacation with his wife when she tragically died.

It was going to be $5,000 to send her body back to the states.
The local offered their services and a plot for $500.00
The man said no
They begged and pleaded with him to let them take care of his wife in his time of grief. He still said no.
A half hour later, and seeing the man was becoming irritated they asked him why he wouldn't let them bury his wife in their country.

He told them about 2,000 years ago they buried someone who came back from the dead 3 days later, and he just couldn't take that chance.
Three men were walking through the desert; one had a bottle of water, on had a loaf of bread and one had a car door.

To the first they said, “hey man, what are you going to do with that water?” He replied, “when I get thirsty I’m going to drink it!”

To the second they said, “hey man, what are you going to do with that loaf of bread?” He replied, “when I get hungry I’m going to eat it.”

the the third the said, “hey man, what are you going to do with that car door?” He replied , “when I get hot I’m going to roll down the window...”