is it just me or are some stories unbelievable
Oh man. I was so hoping to hear the details.You mean I shouldn't tell you guys about my alien abduction? So noted.
It is a good analogy though.
Good, and hopefully The Watchdog groups pick up on the digital trail.There **are** occasional "fakes" but they eventually show their true colors and are weeded out by the mods.
Is why most of us hide it away until it takes over ones life. We need to talk and be believed.because I worried about not being believed.
truthIs why most of us hide it away until it takes over ones life. We need to talk and be believed.
I really don't think that it's an issue. In the remote chance someone is lying about something; that's on them.I'm terrible at detecting B.S. - I just assume everyone here is telling the truth. I wouldn't lie, myself, and don't understand why anyone else would. I'm dumb, maybe.
Great points @Strangeways. Not being believed is re-traumatizing for sure!It's worth remembering that many of us have been traumatized more than once. Once via the original sexual trauma, and then again (and sometimes again and again and again) by disclosing to people who refuse to believe us.
This is why it's so important to pass on by and say nothing about any stories you disbelieve on this forum. I was greatly re-injured the first time I shared my story on social media, but that was a place for which I perhaps could have predicted the response. If I had told my story here, a place specifically meant to share our stories of trauma, and been disbelieved ... I think that would have been the permanent end of my healing journey.
. . . "we tell people. We do this because we are so desperate for a witness (someone who will listen, believe us . . . The witness you long for probably won’t be found in family members or friends, and we set ourselves up for additional pain when we tell people who just can’t handle it."
QFT.We over share both in terms of telling too many people, and in terms of what we tell people. We do this because we are so desperate for a witness (someone who will listen, believe us, empathize with us, and help us heal) to our abuse. It is completely understandable and is not a criticism. But it is a caution.
Please, guys, if you find yourself desperate inside to share about your abuse, please find a trauma-trained therapist and make that your primary outlet. Or, come here - where there are compassionate and empathetic men - and tell your story.
This is something I probably needed to hear.we survivors can sometimes over share. We over share both in terms of telling too many people, and in terms of what we tell people. We do this because we are so desperate for a witness (someone who will listen, believe us, empathize with us, and help us heal) to our abuse. It is completely understandable and is not a criticism. But it is a caution.
Please, guys, if you find yourself desperate inside to share about your abuse, please find a trauma-trained therapist and make that your primary outlet. Or, come here - where there are compassionate and empathetic men - and tell your story. The witness you long for probably won’t be found in family members or friends, and we set ourselves up for additional pain when we tell people who just can’t handle it.
Amen to that.Great points @Strangeways. Not being believed is re-traumatizing for sure!
That makes me think of something I talked with a friend about recently. That is: when the abuse is still pretty much a “secret,” because we haven’t told anyone about it - or maybe have told just a few people, we survivors can sometimes over share. We over share both in terms of telling too many people, and in terms of what we tell people. We do this because we are so desperate for a witness (someone who will listen, believe us, empathize with us, and help us heal) to our abuse. It is completely understandable and is not a criticism. But it is a caution.
Please, guys, if you find yourself desperate inside to share about your abuse, please find a trauma-trained therapist and make that your primary outlet. Or, come here - where there are compassionate and empathetic men - and tell your story. The witness you long for probably won’t be found in family members or friends, and we set ourselves up for additional pain when we tell people who just can’t handle it.
There is so much truth in what you've said. Sadly I'm sure each one of us has had our abuse doubted by someone. This is especially painful and adds to the trauma if it's someone we trusted enough to disclose to in the first place.Great points @Strangeways. Not being believed is re-traumatizing for sure!
That makes me think of something I talked with a friend about recently. That is: when the abuse is still pretty much a “secret,” because we haven’t told anyone about it - or maybe have told just a few people, we survivors can sometimes over share. We over share both in terms of telling too many people, and in terms of what we tell people. We do this because we are so desperate for a witness (someone who will listen, believe us, empathize with us, and help us heal) to our abuse. It is completely understandable and is not a criticism. But it is a caution.
Please, guys, if you find yourself desperate inside to share about your abuse, please find a trauma-trained therapist and make that your primary outlet. Or, come here - where there are compassionate and empathetic men - and tell your story. The witness you long for probably won’t be found in family members or friends, and we set ourselves up for additional pain when we tell people who just can’t handle it.