some song lyrics (maybe triggering)

some song lyrics (maybe triggering)
Glen Phillips - Courage

[video:youtube]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JQ7wXxepU20[/video]

I get so much out of this song; it can be a little upsetting, it can help the tears to flow -- it can also be comforting, uplifting, and make me feel very pensive and insightful.

Lyrics:
At the start of the conversation
I didn't have too much to say
I was needing some inspiration
And you just got in my way
I took a shot at an easy target
You were too stunned to say anything
You were the unsuspecting martyr
You were not the most dangerous game

Bring my courage back now
Bring it back to me
I'm tired of being afraid of what I can't change
I want to be living free

Well it could be that I was mistaken
Or maybe I deceived myself
But it's hard to understand somebody
Doesn't want to understand himself
There's an ocean of unlatched windows
And a world of unlocked homes
The only reason anybody can still feel safe
Is most people still knock on the door

Bring my courage back now
Would you bring it back to me
I'm tired of being afraid of what I can't change
I want to be living free
I don't want to be a prisoner
Bound in these chains
Don't want to be a prisoner
I want to be free again

And though we all return to dust
There's a lot of us in a terrible rush

Some take the road to Damascus
Some take the road to Hell
I'll take Highway One to the evergreens
And everything will turn out well

Bring my courage back now
Would you bring it back to me
I'm tired of being afraid of what I can't change
I want to be living free
I don't want to be a prisoner
Bound in these chains
Slave to my fear
I want to be free again
I want to be free again


-----


I've been a fan of Glen Phillips ever since I first heard him on Toad The Wet Sprocket's "All I Want" in 1992, on a Florida vacation that felt like a dream come true. I remember being in the back seat of the rental car and it was constantly on the radio. It was like it was my brain's first chance to escape the just-below-the-surface constant replays of earlier abuse (what I now know as a dissociative defense) and for a few days, everything felt right in the world. I specifically remember telling myself to hold on to that feeling. Really feels like my coming-of-age song. I was 12.

[video:youtube]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AVYYpNaSs2Y[/video]

Lyrics:
Nothing's so loud
As hearing when we lie
The truth is not kind
And you've said neither am I
But the air outside so soft
Is saying everything
Everything

All I want is to feel this way
To be this close, to feel the same
All I want is to feel this way
The evening speaks, hear it say

Nothing's so cold
As closing the heart when all we need
Is to free the soul
But we wouldn't be that brave I know
And the air outside so soft,
Confessing everything
Everything

All I want is to feel this way
To be this close to feel the same
All I want is to feel this way
The evening speaks, I feel it say

And it won't matter now
Whatever happens will be
Though the air speaks of all we'll never be
It won't trouble me

All I want is to feel this way
To be this close to feel the same
All I want is to feel this way
The evening speaks, I feel it say

And it feels so close
Let it take me in
Let it hold me so
I can feel it say
 
Beth Crowley: "I Am Not Nothing"

"I Am Not Nothing"

No one ever made me feel as small as you did
No one made me feel as cursed
I'd lie awake in bed just staring at the ceiling
Wondering if things would get worse

I was trapped under your thumb
Believing when you called it love

But I will forgive myself
And start to let it go
Accept that who you chose to be
Was out of my control
And though it might be hard
To begin again
I'll write myself a brand new story
With a happy end
I survived
So tonight
I am taking back my life
And I'll show you
That I am not nothing

I kept my head above the water
'Til the moment when all the elements aligned
And I could fly away to heal my broken spirit
And leave my demons far behind
You always said that I was weak
But the bravest thing I did was leave

So I will forgive myself
And start to let it go
Accept that who you chose to be
Was out of my control
And though it might be hard
To begin again
I'll write myself a brand new story
With a happy end
I survived
So tonight
I am taking back my life
And I'll show you
That I am not nothing

Looking up at the sky
I think I see the start of a sunrise

And I will forgive myself
And start to let it go
Accept that who you chose to be
Was out of my control
And though it might be hard
To begin again
I'll write myself a brand new story
With a happy end
I survived
So tonight
I am taking back my life
And I'll show you
That I am not nothing
I'll show you
That I am not nothing
 
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This one from 1995 hit me at a particularly important point---barely 10 years after it happened.


I hate to break it to you
But this convenience ain't convenient anymore
Now I realize I had different eyes
Back when I thought this was a good thing
Here I am my anger and me
Temper makes it hard to see
This situation I'm in again
Everything must come to an end now
There's some things that I wanna do
And I don't wanna lie to you
But it still makes me go
And do the things I know
All wrong

[video:youtube]youtube.com/watch?v=lDAny8iQ0R8[/video]

Will
 
Ed Sheeran: "Photograph"

"Photograph"

Loving can hurt
Loving can hurt sometimes
But it's the only thing that I know
When it gets hard
You know it can get hard sometimes
It is the only thing that makes us feel alive

We keep this love in a photograph
We made these memories for ourselves
Where our eyes are never closing
Hearts are never broken
Times forever frozen still

So you can keep me
Inside the pocket
Of your ripped jeans
Holdin' me closer
'Til our eyes meet
You won't ever be alone
Wait for me to come home

Loving can heal
Loving can mend your soul
And it's the only thing that I know (know)
I swear it will get easier
Remember that with every piece of ya
And it's the only thing we take with us when we die

We keep this love in this photograph
We made these memories for ourselves
Where our eyes are never closing
Hearts were never broken
Times forever frozen still

So you can keep me
Inside the pocket
Of your ripped jeans
Holdin' me closer
'Til our eyes meet
You won't ever be alone

And if you hurt me
That's OK, baby, only words bleed
Inside these pages you just hold me
And I won't ever let you go

Wait for me to come home [4x]

Oh you can fit me
Inside the necklace you got when you were 16
Next to your heartbeat
Where I should be
Keep it deep within your soul

And if you hurt me
Well, that's OK, baby, only words bleed
Inside these pages you just hold me
And I won't ever let you go

When I'm away
I will remember how you kissed me
Under the lamppost
Back on 6th street
Hearing you whisper through the phone,
"Wait for me to come home."
 
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LinEar--

Funny you should mention Toad the West Sprocket; I think this one is pretty apropos:

[video:youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d2FwTprUij4[/video]

I'm transcribing lyrics by ear as I type, I can lip-read, but watching the video doesn't seem to help completely, his lips are kinda hard to read, this is my third language, and toward the end, the video version is a bit different from the version on tape, what I'm using to transcribe the below lyrics:

Open up
And let me in
I was lucky to live
Don't need to win
Forgave myself and if that's a sin
It's not enough
You'd even know it
You did right to call my bluff
'Cause I won't say when I have had enough
And I've worked so hard to need this stuff
And I've tried so hard to just ignore it

(*)
Won't you come down
Where I am
Words are (healer?)
Understand

I won't
Repeat myself again
I will not
Repeat myself again
It's another promise D.O.A.
And despite my every hope
There is no truth behind my best-intention(ed oaf?)

*
Won't you come down?
I've been away too long
I know I have

Won't you come down?
Help me stand
There is healing
In your hands
Won't you come down
Where I am?
Words are (reaming?)
I've been away too long, I know
I've been away too long, I know
I have

--"Come Down," from the 1997 album, Coil.
 
I also have to give my nod to Toad the Wet Sprocket. This only recalls a certain time of year, but also a particular point in my life.

Time of year: Late summer, almost autum. I’m nearing the end of my undergrad college years, and I’m approaching a point where the past began to bother me once again.

Will

 
Ruth B: "Lost Boy"

"Lost Boy"

There was a time when I was alone
Nowhere to go and no place to call home
My only friend was the man in the moon
And even sometimes he would go away too

Then one night, as I closed my eyes,
I saw a shadow flying high
He came to me with the sweetest smile
Told me he wanted to talk for awhile
He said, "Peter Pan. That's what they call me.
I promise that you'll never be lonely."
And ever since that day...

I am a lost boy from Neverland
Usually hanging out with Peter Pan
And when we're bored we play in the woods
Always on the run from Captain Hook
"Run, run, lost boy," they say to me,
"Away from all of reality."

Neverland is home to lost boys like me
And lost boys like me are free
Neverland is home to lost boys like me
And lost boys like me are free

He sprinkled me in pixie dust and told me to believe
Believe in him and believe in me
Together we will fly away in a cloud of green
To your beautiful destiny
As we soared above the town that never loved me
I realized I finally had a family
Soon enough we reached Neverland
Peacefully my feet hit the sand
And ever since that day...

I am a lost boy from Neverland
Usually hanging out with Peter Pan
And when we're bored we play in the woods
Always on the run from Captain Hook
"Run, run, lost boy," they say to me,
"Away from all of reality."

Neverland is home to lost boys like me
And lost boys like me are free
Neverland is home to lost boys like me
And lost boys like me are free

Peter Pan, Tinker Bell, Wendy Darling,
Even Captain Hook,
You are my perfect story book
Neverland, I love you so,
You are now my home sweet home
Forever a lost boy at last

Peter Pan, Tinker Bell, Wendy Darling,
Even Captain Hook,
You are my perfect story book
Neverland, I love you so,
You are now my home sweet home
Forever a lost boy at last
And for always I will say...

I am a lost boy from Neverland
Usually hanging out with Peter Pan
And when we're bored we play in the woods
Always on the run from Captain Hook
"Run, run, lost boy," they say to me,
"Away from all of reality."

Neverland is home to lost boys like me
And lost boys like me are free
Neverland is home to lost boys like me
And lost boys like me are free
 
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Bruno Mars: "Count On Me"

"Count On Me"

If you ever find yourself stuck in the middle of the sea
I'll sail the world to find you
If you ever find yourself lost in the dark and you can't see
I'll be the light to guide you

We find out what we're made of
When we are called to help our friends in need

You can count on me
Like 1, 2, 3
I'll be there
And I know when I need it
I can count on you
Like 4, 3, 2
You'll be there
'Cause that's what friends are supposed to do

If you're tossin' and you're turnin'
And you just can't fall asleep
I'll sing a song beside you
And if you ever forget how much you really mean to me
Every day I will remind you

We find out what we're made of
When we are called to help our friends in need

You can count on me
Like 1, 2, 3
I'll be there
And I know when I need it
I can count on you
Like 4, 3, 2
You'll be there
'Cause that's what friends are supposed to do

You'll always have my shoulder when you cry
I'll never let go, never say goodbye
You know

You can count on me
Like 1, 2, 3
I'll be there
And I know when I need it
I can count on you
Like 4, 3, 2
And you'll be there
'Cause that's what friends are supposed to do

You can count on me 'cause I can count on you
 
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WAY TO THE BLUE by Nick Drake

The lyrics to me are all about looking back at the boy I was - listening through the years that separate us now at what he knows...

Look through time and find your rhyme
Tell us what you find
We will wait
At your gate
Hoping like the blind...

Can you now recall all that you have known
Will you never fall
When the light has flown
Tell me all that you may know
Show me what you have to show
Won’t you come and say
If you know the way to blue?

Blue is what I have been for so long, having started that pathway as that boy I now am asking questions of. This song is about the journey I am on.

[video:youtube]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S40DdlD9JxI[/video]
 
Emeli Sande: "Read All About It"

"Read All About It"

You've got the words to change a nation
But you're biting your tongue
You've spent a life time stuck in silence
Afraid you'll say something wrong
If no one ever hears it how we gonna learn your song?

So come on, come on
Come on, come on

You've got a heart as loud as lions
So why let your voice be tamed?
Maybe we're a little different
There's no need to be ashamed
You've got the light to fight the shadows
So stop hiding it away

Come on, come on

I wanna sing, I wanna shout
I wanna scream 'til the words dry out
So put it in all of the papers,
I'm not afraid
They can read all about it
Read all about it, oh
Oh-oh-oh
Oh-oh-oh
Oh-oh-oh
Oh-oh-oh
Oh-oh-oh
Oh-oh-oh

At night we're waking up the neighbours
While we sing away the blues
Making sure that we're remembered, yeah
Cause we all matter too
If the truth has been forbidden
Then we're breaking all the rules

So come on, come on
Come on, come on,

Let's get the TV and the radio
To play our tune again
It's 'bout time we got some airplay of our version of events
There's no need to be afraid
I will sing with you my friend

Come on, come on

I wanna sing, I wanna shout
I wanna scream 'til the words dry out
So put it in all of the papers,
I'm not afraid
They can read all about it
Read all about it, oh
Oh-oh-oh
Oh-oh-oh
Oh-oh-oh
Oh-oh-oh
Oh-oh-oh
Oh-oh-oh

Yeah, we're all wonderful, wonderful people
So when did we all get so fearful?
Now we're finally finding our voices
So take a chance, come help me sing this
Yeah, we're all wonderful, wonderful people
So when did we all get so fearful?
And now we're finally finding our voices
Just take a chance, come help me sing this

I wanna sing, I wanna shout
I wanna scream 'til the words dry out
So put it in all of the papers,
I'm not afraid
They can read all about it
Read all about it, oh
Oh-oh-oh
Oh-oh-oh
Oh-oh-oh
Oh-oh-oh
Oh-oh-oh
Oh-oh-oh

I wanna sing, I wanna shout
I wanna scream 'til the words dry out
So put it in all of the papers,
I'm not afraid
They can read all about it
Read all about it, oh
 
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It's been a while.
The following song struck a cord in me. For me it's about a father and son, or how it should have been.

the following sentences touched me the most:
1. And I'm sure things will work out okay; I wish that was the truth
2. I won't sleep 'til you're safe inside

James Arthur: "Safe Inside"

"Safe Inside"

I remember when you were all mine
Watched you changing in front of my eyes
What can I say?
Now that I'm not the fire in the cold
Now that I'm not the hand that you hold
As you're walking away

Will you call me to tell me you're alright?
'Cause I worry about you the whole night
Don't repeat my mistakes
I won't sleep 'til you're safe inside
If you're home I just hope that you're sober
Is it time to let go now you're older?
Don't leave me this way
I won't sleep 'til you're safe inside

Everyone has to find their own way
And I'm sure things will work out okay
I wish that was the truth
All we know is the sun will rise
Thank your lucky stars that you're alive
It's a beautiful life

Will you call me to tell me you're alright?
'Cause I worry about you the whole night
Don't repeat my mistakes
I won't sleep 'til you're safe inside
If you're home I just hope that you're sober
Is it time to let go now you're older?
Don't leave me this way
I won't sleep 'til you're safe inside

If you make the same mistakes
I will love you either way
All I know is I can't live without you
There is nothing I can say
That will change you anyway
Darling, I could never live without you
I can't live, I can't live

Will you call me to tell me you're alright?
'Cause I worry about you the whole night
Don't make my mistakes
I won't sleep, I won't sleep
If you're home I just hope that you're sober
Is it time to let go now you're older?
Don't leave me this way
I won't sleep 'til you're safe inside

Will you call me to tell me you're alright?
'Cause I worry about you
 
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Sia: "Alive"

"Alive"

I was born in a thunderstorm
I grew up overnight
I played alone
I played on my own
I survived

Hey
I wanted everything I never had
Like the love that comes with light
I wore envy and I hated that
But I survived

I had a one-way ticket to a place where all the demons go
Where the wind don't change
And nothing in the ground can ever grow
No hope, just lies
And you're taught to cry into your pillow
But I survived

I'm still breathing [4x]
I'm alive [4x]

I found solace in the strangest place
Way in the back of my mind
I saw my life in a stranger's face
And it was mine

I had a one-way ticket to a place where all the demons go
Where the wind don't change
And nothing in the ground can ever grow
No hope, just lies
And you're taught to cry into your pillow
But I survived

I'm still breathing [4x]
I'm alive [4x]

You took it all, but I'm still breathing [8x]

I have made every single mistake
That you could ever possibly make
I took and I took and I took what you gave
But you never noticed that I was in pain
I knew what I wanted; I went out and got it
Did all the things that you said that I wouldn't
I told you that I would never be forgotten
And all in spite of you

And I'm still breathing
I'm still breathing
I'm still breathing
I'm still breathing
I'm alive (You took it all, but I'm still breathing)
(You took it all, but I'm still breathing)
I'm alive (You took it all, but I'm still breathing)
(You took it all, but I'm still breathing)
I'm alive (You took it all, but I'm still breathing)
(You took it all, but I'm still breathing)
I'm alive

I'm alive [4x]
 
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Sia: "Angel By The Wing"

"Angel By The Wing"
(from "The Eagle Huntress" soundtrack)

Old soul, your wounds they show
I know, you have never felt so low
But hold on, head up, be strong
Oh, hold on
Hold on until you hear them come
Here they come oh

Take an angel by the wings
Beg her now for anything
Beg her now for one more day
Take an angel by the wings
Time to tell her everything
Ask her for the strength to stay

Oooooooh
Oooooooh
Oooooooh
Oooooooh [repeat]

(refrain) x 2
You can, you can
Do anything, anything
You can, do anything
You can, you can
Do anything, anything
You can, do anything

Look up, call to the sky, oh
Look up, and don’t ask why
Oh
Just take an angel by the wings
Beg her now for anything
Beg her now for one more day
Take an angel by the wings
Time to tell her everything
Ask her for the strength to stay

Oooooooh
Oooooooh
Oooooooh
Oooooooh [repeat]

(refrain) x 4
 
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Gert Taberner: "Fallen"

"Fallen"

Tell me things you never said out loud
Just try and go there if you can
Show me the parts of you you’re not that proud of

I want to know I’m just a man

I’ll have you know that I have good and bad days
Come on, now, love, don’t be naive
Lay out our cards and you’ll see all my mistakes
Well, I don’t mind while you’re with me

When have I fallen
Am I crawling on my knees

Here I’m calling
In the hope that you’ll see me

Whoa whoa whoa
Whoa whoa whoa

This voice inside of me has lost its breath
It’s far too tired to sing at ease
All of the things I never said out loud
They will remain inside of me

Yeah and I’ve fallen
Yes, I’m crawling on my knees

Yeah and I’m calling
Out in search of who we’ll be

Whoa whoa whoa
Whoa whoa whoa
Whoa whoa whoa
Whoa whoa whoa

Tell me things you’ve never said out loud
‘cause I want to know I’m just a man
 
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Jaymes Young: "i'll Be Good"

"I'll Be Good"

I thought I saw the devil, this morning
Looking in the mirror, drop of rum on my tongue
With the warning to help me see myself clearer
I never meant to start a fire
I never meant to make you bleed
I'll be a better man today

I'll be good, I'll be good
And I'll love the world, like I should
Yeah, I'll be good, I'll be good
For all of the times that I never could

My past has tasted bitter for years now
So I wield an iron fist
Grace is just weakness
Or so I've been told
I've been cold, I've been merciless
But the blood on my hands scares me to death
Maybe I'm waking up today

I'll be good, I'll be good
And I'll love the world, like I should
I'll be good, I'll be good
I'll be good, I'll be good
For all of the light that I shut out
For all of the innocent things that I doubt
For all of the bruises I've caused and the tears
For all of the things that I've done all these years
Yeah, for all of the sparks that I've stomped out
For all of the perfect things that I doubt

I'll be good, I'll be good
And I'll love the world, like I should
Yeah, I'll be good, I'll be good
For all of the times I never could

Ooh oh oh
Ooh oh oh
For all of the times I never could
 
Lady Gaga: "Til it happens to you"

"Til It Happens To You"
(from "The Hunting Ground" soundtrack)

You tell me it gets better, it gets better in time
You say I'll pull myself together, pull it together, you'll be fine
Tell me, what the hell do you know? What do you know?
Tell me how the hell could you know? How could you know?

Til it happens to you, you don't know how it feels, how it feels
Til it happens to you, you won't know, it won't be real
No, it won't be real, won't know how it feels

You tell me hold your head up, hold your head up and be strong
'Cause when you fall you gotta get up, you gotta get up and move on
Tell me how the hell could you talk, how could you talk?
'Cause until you walk where I walk, this is no joke

Til it happens to you, you don't know how it feels, how it feels
Til it happens to you, you won't know, it won't be real
(how could you know?)
No it won't be real
(how could you know?)
Won't know how I feel

Til your world burns and crashes
Til you're at the end, the end of your rope
Til you're standing in my shoes
I don't wanna hear a thing from you, from you, from you
'Cause you don't know

Til it happens to you, you don't know how I feel, how I feel
How I feel
Til it happens to you, you won't know, it won't be real
(how could you know?)
No, it won't be real
(how could you know?)
Won't know how it feels

Til it happens to you
Happens to you
Happens to you
Happens to you
Happens to you
Happens to you
(how could you know?)
Til it happens to you
You won't know how I feel
 
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There is a lot of deep and relevant lyrics you’ve posted here. Forgive me if I missed them in the list. Have you listened to ‘He’ by Jars of Clay or ‘Big Girls Don’t Cry’ by Fergie (I know I know; but she obviously knows something about recovery)
 

We found a dead fox and a dozen matchbox cars
When we cut back the hedges on Cortelyou Place
How many got lost, left so long they grew moss cause
They recoiled into the shadows of my embrace
 
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