Some good news about recovery
MrDon
Registrant
Several years back before my paralysis, I tried a job selling feed to farmers. I had the training and background but the anxiety (which I didn't know at the time that was what it was). So I grew to hate the job because I couldn't get over going out to talk to people I didn't know (which is a big part of sales.....smile). Every day that I went to work, my stomach would get sick and after about 6 months I think it was, I had to quit. At that point, I swore I would never do anything like sales again in my life. I had learned my lesson.
Then came the paralysis and almost having my life come to an end which of course started me into recovery and all the other events that took place.
Fast forward to today.
It wasn't too long ago that I was telling my therapist I wanted the little boy part of me back where I could talk to anyone without fear. I was a paperboy and always the top in my district because I wasn't afraid to knock on doors and talk to people (plus I have a cute little boyish look and smile that gets to people). But I longed for that.
So now with my massage business, I am going out and knocking on doors, handing resumes and talking to people about having me do massages. I've really shocked myself a lot and am doing this without being afraid. That is pretty earth shattering for me as I've always been shaking just at the thought of talking to someone. Of course I do struggle with some anxiety getting myself out the door but once I do, I am ok and I do a pretty good job at meeting these people.
Another thing was that I have had a chance to work with some of my peers and an instructor from school. They've seen me do some work now that I have been out of school and are just astounded at what I am doing. I had a teacher tell me I was doing a damn good job! Another person said she was watching me the other day and said I was very good. So it helps my confidence and it helps me to begin trusting myself more in what I do.
You know, never in a million years would I have thought I would be doing massage and loving it and good at it. It seems like it is a natural fit for me. And yet I thought I would always fear touch with myself let alone touch with other people. I've still got several personal hurdles to cross, but damn, it is exciting to me to see these things happen!
Growing up, I was taught that "laying on of hands" was wrong by the churches we went to. Well I'm learning that sometimes just a touch can be so relaxing, healing, energizing for others. There is so much power in touch and the more I learn what is inside of me, the more power I can bring out through my touch. If you think it all sounds nutty, weird and whatever else,, well it wasn't too long ago that I would totally agree. But I see the differance it has made in my own personal life and I see the differance it makes in others and I know that what I am experiencing is real. Of course a couple of years ago, you couldn't have convinced me of it.
The last couple of weeks were pretty good for me considering I just got myself going. Next week so far there is nothing scheduled but hopefully that will change. In the meantime, I will continue knocking on doors and trusting that the universe provides for the things that I need if I continue doing my part.
Just had to share these things because some days, it is hard to see all of this and sometimes just reminding myself of all the good, is a very helpful and healing thing to do for myself.
Don
Then came the paralysis and almost having my life come to an end which of course started me into recovery and all the other events that took place.
Fast forward to today.
It wasn't too long ago that I was telling my therapist I wanted the little boy part of me back where I could talk to anyone without fear. I was a paperboy and always the top in my district because I wasn't afraid to knock on doors and talk to people (plus I have a cute little boyish look and smile that gets to people). But I longed for that.
So now with my massage business, I am going out and knocking on doors, handing resumes and talking to people about having me do massages. I've really shocked myself a lot and am doing this without being afraid. That is pretty earth shattering for me as I've always been shaking just at the thought of talking to someone. Of course I do struggle with some anxiety getting myself out the door but once I do, I am ok and I do a pretty good job at meeting these people.
Another thing was that I have had a chance to work with some of my peers and an instructor from school. They've seen me do some work now that I have been out of school and are just astounded at what I am doing. I had a teacher tell me I was doing a damn good job! Another person said she was watching me the other day and said I was very good. So it helps my confidence and it helps me to begin trusting myself more in what I do.
You know, never in a million years would I have thought I would be doing massage and loving it and good at it. It seems like it is a natural fit for me. And yet I thought I would always fear touch with myself let alone touch with other people. I've still got several personal hurdles to cross, but damn, it is exciting to me to see these things happen!
Growing up, I was taught that "laying on of hands" was wrong by the churches we went to. Well I'm learning that sometimes just a touch can be so relaxing, healing, energizing for others. There is so much power in touch and the more I learn what is inside of me, the more power I can bring out through my touch. If you think it all sounds nutty, weird and whatever else,, well it wasn't too long ago that I would totally agree. But I see the differance it has made in my own personal life and I see the differance it makes in others and I know that what I am experiencing is real. Of course a couple of years ago, you couldn't have convinced me of it.
The last couple of weeks were pretty good for me considering I just got myself going. Next week so far there is nothing scheduled but hopefully that will change. In the meantime, I will continue knocking on doors and trusting that the universe provides for the things that I need if I continue doing my part.
Just had to share these things because some days, it is hard to see all of this and sometimes just reminding myself of all the good, is a very helpful and healing thing to do for myself.
Don
