So what gives your life meaning?

So what gives your life meaning?
D

Dan88

Registrant
Lately, I've been just noodling about life's purpose.

I think this is an abuse related topic because when you get up close to a truly unrestrained evil person, it makes it a little harder to accept some of the pat answers about the meaning of life. I just don't take it for granted that people are a benevolent force, that there's anything inherently good in us as a species. We've all seen up close that that's bullshit. So I wonder why we exist. This isn't about depression. It's really about figuring out where to go from here.

The prevailing method of handling this question is to attach yourself to a religion, which has all the answers. But I'm never going to get to the point where that works for me.

So why are we here? Propagate the species? I'm sure that's a biological imperative. But it's not a rational reason for existence. There's no point in dedicating ourselves to expanding the population. We've already got more people than the planet can comfortably support.

Advance the knowledge of the species? Maybe, but toward what end? Is there more to it than just keeping ourselves alive as long as possible?

Are we striving through our lives toward some higher level of existence? Are we spiritually evolving? Do we graduate to some after life?

Or, are we truly no different than any other animal. We've just succeeded to the point where we are now out of balance with our environment, and we're now waiting for some evolutionary pendulum to swing and put us back into line.

What do you believe?
 
I've often wondered that myself.

My immediate answer is the religion one, which I know you've already passed on. But it makes sense to me to think I am here to glorify God. Nothing else can fill that question in my thinking. Perhaps I need to expand my thinking, but this won't negate the importance of having God in my life. I believe in intelligent design.

My parents should never have had kids, so being here to propagate the species is poor excuse for having children your're not gonna care about. That one would be hard to swallow.

I don't believe we are just another animal since we so different from the rest of the flesh kingdom. Yes, there are similarities here and there. We do this thing like dogs do, or that thing like monkeys do, but the differences are astounding.

I guess if I can help somone else get through this life a little happier, I have found my purpose. That doesn't mean I write them a check for whats in my bank account. That means I help bear their load. Sometimes I need help bearing my load too. I guess second to God, that where I find purpose - adding a little happiness or relief to someone's life.

Hope that makes sense. I just woke up. :)
 
Hello Dan88,

It is a good question. We will all have our own answers to it. In my life I have met a huge number of very good, loving people, who truly put their lives on the line in many ways, to help others. I have also met evil in the flesh. Fortuantely, the evil has been very much less than the good people. Evil sticks out clearly. Good does not always appear so obvious.

I am a man of faith so God does keep me going--although at times I screech and scream at God as though God has some instrinsic need for my guidance.

But in fact, people are the more obvious energy to keep going on for me. I have come to love many of the men and women (F&F) who have come to this site. They have inspired me no end, and continue to do so.

Then there are my students and their parents. I teach and counsel in a high school. The kids are definitely not angels, but they are good, often a little afraid and have not become very closed minded yet. The parents range from really good, inspiring people, to folks I would love to have on a chain and kick their butts all through the city until my foot would get sore.

This week I will be talking to boys in juvy hall. Some are victims and some are perps and some have neither title to claim. They will be hostile and angry that they are incarcertaed. But eventualy, by the end, it will be clear that they have often had the good kicked out of them by life. And it will be clear that they would like life to be, and to have been, different--but like all of us, the past is the past and the effects of it run deep.

You, in your searching and honestly sparked me Dan. I have not come here much lately because of some other things about my health that I have to tend to or else. But I saw a goodness, and honesty and a searching in you that moved me to feel that here again is a wonderful brother who has suffered what no one should ever suffer--and yet he cares enough to be a part of MS, to post and get us thinking.You have the courage to be a bit vulnerable to all of us who will read and think about your post. So this morning Dan, you keep me going.

Peace be with you brother survivor.
Bob
 
For me there is no meaning to life. I dont mean that in a depressed way nor does it stop me enjoying my life. Life is interesting as it is, love, knowledge; nature, friendship, happiness, fun and joy are enough to make life worth living. I dont have any religious faith and I cannot conceive of a god cruel enough to create the world as I see it. If god exists he would either be incompetent or a psychopath either way not the kind of thing I would want to praise or worship or have anything to do with. My atheism grew out of a once very strong Christian belief. I am very glad to have dumped the superstitious nonsense. I miss the belief in prayer, which gave me an illusion that there was help from a loving god. This is purely my personal position and not meant to in any way offend others beliefs.

Having said all that I think I am happier living an ethical life, that the world can be improved by the actions of individuals and groups.

Thats all the existential wisdom I have for today. ;)
Rustam
 
theo had a topic a while back. I think it was "Why do you continue?". I gave a very lengthy response in that topic, and so did many other people. I just looked for it and was not able to find it fast. I think it was last on the top of the message board around August.
 
What gives my life meaning?

Watching my children grow, trying to understand their world around them. It helps me to reflect on what happened to me, and when. How innocent I was, naive maybe, but that's how it's suppossed to be.

It helps me to forgive myself more, so I can enjoy what God has given to me. It also helps me to set boundaries, little and big, and I can be unashamed of my decisions. Sounds pious, pompous, but the line between arrogance, and assertiveness is very thin.

peace,
estuardo
 
Wow, this is a difficult and complicated topic and, as you say, even more complicated by the effects of the abuse we experienced.

I struggled with this for most of my life without knowing why. The deep emotional pain that I felt as a result of the abuse prevented conscious thought concerning why my life might be meaningful. In fact, quite the contrary, I felt that my life was useless, meaningless.

Ive come to the conclusion that this question, in truth, is unanswerable. In fact, from my point of view, it is not necessary to have an answer to have the feeling of meaningfulness.

Thats the core of what this question is about, I think. An avoidance of acknowledging, allowing feelings to be consciously recognized was at the heart of why I felt meaningless.

Now, it is very simple. Among the aspects of my life that give it meaning arethe new family I have chosen and in which I participate, the ability to express my feelings through art, work which helps young people who are as vulnerable now as I was then, volunteer work and charitable support for other organizations that are engaged in similar work.

The latter is limited by my means but, I have found, even the smallest donation makes a huge difference in my life.

Last, and this may seem odd to some, it is the abuse and my dealing with it that also gives meaning to my life. Consciously realizing what happened and learning new, effective ways of dealing with what has resulted from it, are the things which most allow my real self to be uncovered. For me, that leads to all other, meaning-giving things.

I am not sure that propagating the species is a biological imperative. It is more a biological urge in some people, I think. I dont believe that it is so much overridden (when it is overridden) by reason as it is simply put aside to make room for other, equally consuming and meaning-giving aspects of life.

I am not mystical about the meaning of life, certainly not religious in the conventional sense. In religion, I found accommodation, substance-less answers for unanswerable questions. I found justification for not taking full responsibility for my present-moment actions as well as a needless focus on regrets and (false) guilt about the past and fear of the future. That at least one of my abusers, still alive, and I suspect others consider themselves to be deeply religious has helped me see such a framework for understanding meaning as suspect.

There is, as I see it, no higher level, no spiritual evolution, no afterlife.

Meaning is in the moment. For me, not consciously aware of that meant being entirely tied up in the effects of the abuse I experienced. Knowing it has been, for me, the natural and inevitable path towards freedom.
 
Easily answered. Watching my grandchildren growing up, I hope to stick around for a while. Also to indulge in a bit of mental retribution on some people, hopefully for the remainder of thier days.

Nasty thing stigma.

Archnut
 
Thanks for your input, everyone. It's interesting that several guys mention their children, future children, and, by extension, grand children as part of what gives life meaning. I think that's really what I'm wrestling with. The biggest source of sadness I have is that I didn't confront my abuse early enough to get my act together to start a family. And since religion was so central to the abuse I suffered, I don't imagine I'm going to embrace it any time soon.

There are other paths to fulfillment, I think, besides family and religion. I'm just having trouble seizing on one. I think it's because I perceive that these two things that are of such value to others -- family and relgion -- were taken from me. So I'm sort of like the kid who's told he can't have a certain toy for Christmas. Suddenly, despite all the other toys that are out there, that's the only toy I can think about.

I guess we always want what we can't have. But I gotta get past it.
 
it's weird dan - i think about this a lot - cause i get lost in the meaninglessness of it all at times - but just lately - i have realized that my friends - my real friends are crucial to me -
the meaning in life - and in that sense - this may sound very traditional - when i am disspointed in life - by someone i love and thought loved me - i know in this i have tried my best - and i remain not cynical - wiser perhaps -about myself and others - but looking forward and somewhat open - to living day to day as a kin of 'servant of god' - but with all the knowledge of self preservation and value - that we have talked about here - ... 'in gloria deo'
this is what i feel - think - believe - i love my friends i love to share in the daily mysteries of life - love - hurt and jubilation!

-there are friends whose life has pained them so - or who cannot love back and so on their way to live the life they must and i must - sad and empty feelings happen - but then a nod and acknowledgement and journey on - but
open and thoughts on the future -
eventually to the next friend who may come in and out of my life and the gifts that relationship will bring too -
with the light of the friends past and the light of god too to lead me on .
that's all from me !

m
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top