so much detail

[shadowkid]

i been posting my story on the story forum ,i'm freaked by how much i remember ,it has been ten years and as i started writing my story i found out i can remember every little detail like it was yesterday ,is it normal to feel like you did during the abuse when you write about it? it would be ok but i didn't expect to really feel the pain again, some of the memories scare me.

 

[WalkingSouth]

Shadow,

I blocked out the memories of what happened to me when I was a child. When I began to remember them it hurt like hell. Then I wrote my story not for anybody to read, but just I thought it would help to write it out. As I wrote the memories were so vivid it was almost as if I were living them again. Very painful. I cried and raged and shouted at the walls, but it was very cleansing for me. That was just after I started seeing a counselor 20 months ago.

I still get back memories. A couple of them were very painful or scarey or both. I wrote about them here over on the members side.

So in answer to your question, I think what you are experiencing is quite normal for a survivor. Most of us here can relate in one way or another to the things you've talked about because we've been there too.

You're among friends here, Shadow. Keep doing the hard work. We're right in there with you.

Thanks for having the courage to come here and post. It helps us too.

John

 

[Devon2BFree]

For what it's worth, I too have experienced different memories at different times. Things, after remembering, I thought I would never remember (if that makes any sense). I have had all kinds of reaction and emotions when I have sat to write my story or when I have remembered some details. The emotions and thoughts have ranged from anger, fear, dispair and even strangely enough erotic. I understand from my T that all these are NORMAL as my body and my mind remembers. I believe what your are experiencing is NORMAL as well. Hang in there and keep pushing forward in your writing, remembering and ultimately...HEALING. Have a great day!