Sleep deprivision (MAY TRIGGER!)

[crisispoint]

Insomnia and nightmares have double-teamed my @$$.

I felt so good this morning, so in touch with God and what mattered, and I still do somewhat, but the nightmares, the memories, stress, depression, everything is just kicking the living crap out of me.

I'm afraid of sleep. I'm just afraid of everything. Just so tired I need to vent.

I feel like Gabriel Byrne's character in "The Usual Suspects." I'm tired of living, but scared of dying.

I want it done. I want it gone. But I can't have that, so I have to move on.

Lord, do I hate this sometimes. Hell, the abuse stuff all of the time.

Sorry for whining.



Scot

 

[Kenn]

Not that I can tell you to do anything, but "sorry for whining" is something I would encourage you to drop

Why? Because it's one of my own biggest self-criticisms (and I tend to minimize) AND because one never knows when a post will help someone else. Me, for example LOL

Not until a traumatic accident last year caused new nightmares did I begin taking a sedating anti-depressant (Remeron). I had no idea what I was missing!

I have had problems both with sleeping and staying awake the past few days. If - and that's a big if - I take the R. during the early evening, as prescribed, I sleep okay. Often, however, I delay taking it so as to be able to stay up a little longer - only to get so wound up in the next few hours as to make sleep impossible until well after daybreak.

This weekend I hit the wall, not sleeping well, sending a softball SOS email to a friend, then falling asleep in the pre-dawn hours of Sunday morning - only to have her answer my mail with a phone call at about 9:15 later that morning. Now, I must admit, waking me up catches me honest - and I ended up having a very cathartic, revealing cry with her.

Does it need to come to that? Surely not.

I need to see my T (he's actually a psych.) more often than twice weekly, either that or find a new T.

Bottom line...I relate to sleep deprivation, nightmares, etc.

Kenn

 

[Leosha]

Scot,

I don't know if you have tried anything to help you sleep, pills or teas or whatever. I know that it is not fun, having to take medicines to be 'normal'. But I do know that when we rest better, we can deal better with other things. Healing, physical and emotional, occurs with sleeping. I just want you to try to get the sleep you need, because you deserve that, and you deserve the additional strength and energy that gives you. I know that there are lot of things in the store you can try that do not even require a doctor, but you may wish to check to make sure they are safe with anything else you are taking. Just please try to do that for yourself.

Leosha