Silence

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Silence
Feb must have been a downer, My last post in Jan sounds so positive. I am starting to get more positive again.

Fuck you Steve for touching me.
It was hard enough to loose my father.
Why did you have to do this?

I just want to be Ok. Any words of wisdom are welcome. Thanks. Just venting.
 
I am glad it is spring, I welcome it.
Hopefully it will inspire me to write more
poetry.
 
Jim wanted to know where this topic was so I am replying to it.

Words,
lost stuck in my
Breathe

His hands,
playing with me
as I sleep

Love,
is all I wanted
I got him

Betrayed,
the bastard
F--- him

A life,
full of confusion
F--- him again

Does it end !
Only time
will tell!

Words,
no one wants
to hear

Tell them anyway
Stop the abuse
Now !
 
Hi. Remembered about a year back. Putting the pieces back together and trying to figure out who the hell I actually am, not who I thought I was with shadowy fingers reaching out of my past to change my course from time to time in ways I didn't like and didn't understand.

Wrote this years ago and didn't know what it meant then. Got a pretty good idea now:

The darkness rose
and roiled and boiled
and beneath it
THERE!
lay something coiled

I reached within
and couldn't see my hand
but I felt
THERE!
lay something coiled

I reached once more
with my other hand
and felt something
THERE!
in the darkness something lay coiled

And I saw in
the darkness
something uncoil
THERE!
in the darkness
something was uncoiled

And I still don't know what it was
 
You're poems are lovely,Michael. Don't fret lack of response. Whatever gets one's ya ya's out works for me. The old way did'nt involve a lot of talking. Was'nt any choice,no options. Nowadays there's options. That's probably a lot better than the old way of self destruction,horror quieted,rage in plain sight unobserved..
 
Thank you Michael Joseph, thought I'd include a poem back for you...it relates to Silence...

Jim C.

Code:
[b]Poetry Undone[/b]


There are words I never spoke, 
	which no ear has ever heard.  
		They are words that must be spoken, 
			poetry which must be written.  

Unable to express all the words 
	as they rush madly through my mind.  
		All vitally important expressions 
			of what needs to be said.

All part of the same truth 
	which I know and experience.
		The words, however, still elude me.  

I am too inept for their expression;
	too ineffectual to compose
		what the individual words cannot.

Belabored, I attempt to write 
	what my mind has spoken, 
		what my mind has heard, and
			the words fall blindly on the page
				expressing nothing.

The unity presented in my mind 
	lays spoiled on the paper lacking coherence.
Click to expand...

[ April 28, 2002: Message edited by: Jim C. ]
 
As I lay
beside him

all I want is Love
all I got was his hand
on my private parts

As I lay beside him
I can feel warm and comforted
it is only an illusion

He will take all he can get
and give back very little
leaving a hole inside me

As I lay beside him
I ignore what is going on
pretending it is ok

now I am confused
and cannot change
what happened

He no longer lays beside me
I chose who touches me
It was never OK !

I wish I never knew Him.

M. Joseph 5-4-02
 
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