sick and going crazy again

[Leosha]

the panic is heare again and I am terrified, I am feeling sick of myself. I let him intrude again on my mind, my body, I let him make me scared and panicagain and I real feel I am going just full insane, I have no control over when these things come up at me, in my memories. i hate it, i hate me. Why can't I hate him, why can't I hate any of them? losing control again, can't stop it,a nd don't know what to do, sorryy.

 

[FlyWM]

Leo, you are not letting anything happen, you try to stop it, and it should stop. It is scary leo, and I know that, but you are more than brave enough to make it through. Try not to hate yourself, I know that can be very hard, but you have done nothing wrong. As for not being able to hate them, it is fear, a fear of reprisal, you know intelectually that they did wrong evil things, but there is still that subconcious fear that if you hate themthey will do worse things to you. You will survive it leo, just as you have survived everything that has happened prior, you a very strong person, and you will make it through, and become even stronger.

Peace,
Fly

 

[Mike Church]

Leosha my friend.

If you can please get to your Therapist. Tell him everything. Listen to what the other guys are telling you. You need help in this my brother so go for it!! There are times that we cannot do it alone.