Siblings not communicating with me

[randomdude]

I kept the secret of my father molesting me for 36 years. I told my brothers a few months ago right before I had to go into the mental hospital. They were super supportive at first when I just told them I was molested, but when I finally revealed by who, the support changed a bit. Then they didn't really check up on me when I got out the hospital. Then I brought up something about Trump (which admittedly they have asked me not to do) and one of my brothers got really mad and insulted me. I lashed out and said he's taking the abuser's side and that got my other brother mad at me. We haven't had any contact for like 6 weeks since then.

I don't know what I expect of them, but it wasn't for their relationship with my dad to stay the same after the revelation and the one with me to grow strained. Its so hard for me to grasp how people that love me could turn on me because they learned I was a victim. My heart hurts, I've lost a lot of faith in people and things I believed in during the past couple of years.

 

[Georgie]

It's possible they were molested as well and aren't mature enough to address it as you did. Your revelation may bring back memories for them. It seems odd to me that a parent would molest one child only.

 

[randomdude]

It's possible they were molested as well and aren't mature enough to address it as you did. Your revelation may bring back memories for them. It seems odd to me that a parent would molest one child only.

I am doubtful. I certainly witnessed physical abuse of one of my brothers, which he is quite dismissive of, but I believe my father molested me for one specific reason and not as part of a sexual predilection, but I'll probably never know for sure.

 

[allowmeauser]

Its strange to see people fighting with their own family members over a political figure.

 

[allowmeauser]

I am doubtful. I certainly witnessed physical abuse of one of my brothers, which he is quite dismissive of, but I believe my father molested me for one specific reason and not as part of a sexual predilection, but I'll probably never know for sure.

What reason could he possibly have to sexually abuse his own son?

 

[randomdude]

What reason could he possibly have to sexually abuse his own son?

A drunken decision to punish my mother for a specific act of insubordination and to ruin the relationship between me and her, which he was jealous of.

 

[Pheonix1994]

@randomdude
Sorry about what happened between you and your brothers. I can relate with you to some point. My siblings don't talk to me at all. They knew about my abuse and my older brother would say why do I let them do that to me. Like I had a choice. My parents knew too but did nothing to stop it. I know of that heart ache you speak of cause my heart ached when I cut off all ties with my siblings. It's been over 25 years that I haven't seen them. It was one if the hardest decision I ever had to make. I think they blame me but what they didn't realize is that i did it to keep them safe. I hope you can mend your relationship with your siblings.wishing you well and take care.

 

[allowmeauser]

A drunken decision to punish my mother for a specific act of insubordination and to ruin the relationship between me and her, which he was jealous of.

That's horrible. I am sorry sorry you had to go through that.

 

[Immanuel_Varis]

I don't know what I expect of them, but it wasn't for their relationship with my dad to stay the same after the revelation and the one with me to grow strained.

As terrible as this is, it isn’t all that out of the norm, at least in my experience. I was molested as a child just like my brother, but my brother was molested much longer than me for complicated reasons. There were a number of points when he mentioned it to my parents post-abuse, but they never did anything to help him recover. In fact, none of us did. We were all lost in the comfort of not caring and not knowing. It is truly sad, but sometimes family dynamics are so strongly tied that they’d rather commit to “comfort” over actually listening and caring. I’ve been on this transition towards being there for my brother versus the commitment to comfort and it’s like nothing I’ve ever had to face before.

I’d be willing to direct message you about this more (Also because there are some politics involved as well.)

 

[daveHello]

You shouldn't rule out so easily that your Father may have molested your brothers too, me and my Dad could hang around in public without anyone having any clue about what we did in private. For 37 years no one other than those involved knew anything about my Dads perverted interest in his sons