Should male survivors who have gone on to abuse be allowed to post?

Should male survivors who have gone on to abuse be allowed to post?
M

mark250676

Registrant
Simple question but I think some people have gone on to abuse after being abused themselves.

I feel they don't have a place here but it's a proven fact that some members, who will remain nameless, have gone on to abuse and continue to post.

As soon as a survivor abuses they become nothing but another abuser. It may seem harsh but I'd be interested to see what others think.
 
Mark

I totally agree anyone who sexually abuses and is attracted to minors should not be on this board. No I dont think you are being harsh at all and now I know something about perps (other than my own experiences) as I have been dealing with them on my blog for the last week now. I suspect that whoever it maybe may get some sort of perverse pleasure out of being a member here, now that is sick and the person concerned should seek help but not here.

I would not give a perp an inch as they would take a couple of miles

Kirk.
"Lets grab this bull by the horns and swing it about a bit"
 
i dont know where to draw the line. if we eliminated everyone that went on to act out in some way after being abused, how many would we have left here?

i for one played on other's lack of knowledge to get them to explore sex with me when i was a kid. technically i used greater knowledge to take advantage of them, and that fits the definition of abuse, even if i was only a kid and really didnt fully understand.

then you get into a time factor. there is a huge difference between someone that is currently abusing, and someone that did something twenty years ago that they are ashamed of and come here to somehow make peace with it.

i wish i had a firm view on this, but i dont. i think it depends. no, i dont want someone who is out there today abusing a kid to come here and brag, but this is a place for survivors to come and share. we've all did things we are not proud of, and in many cases those things are in our distant past. that is far different from someone that is currently abusing in my mind.
 
I think we need to be careful here, and if you have evidence, then it is best to contact the board.

I for one would not come here if I was abusing kids, I would never put them through so much shit as I went through, and see them with no life to carry on.

I might have well been murdered as a kid than go through that, and we all know what I am talking about here.

I am over protective of kids, and I hate even having to think I should need to be, but it is an instinct I grew to embrace,

ste
 
Being abused is going to effect your own developemnt and view of sexual relationships as a child. Maybe I should have made it clearer.

I'm talking of survivors who abuse children when they are adults.

The mods are aware.
 
Survivors who abuse kids are perps first, and it is up to the mods to decide whether someone who is abusing has a right to be here.

I would have thought Not! Would be the answer,

ste

Edited to say that Hauser would not be considered as an abuser by me and most.
Things you did as a kid are not the same as being perped by an adult.
 
You stop being a victim the SECOND you CHOOSE to become a Perp.

If you are posting here you KNOW you are doing wrong and need help and to be stopped.

Either get help, turn yourself in, or jump off a bridge. Just stop hurting children. You KNOW what harm you are doing.

(childhood acts aside)
 
I think I would tend to trust the board on their discretion. There are always so many factors in this sort of stuff that if we make a hard and fast rule, someone who needs help and can be helped will not get the help they need.
At the same time I don't think anyone wants an active abuser around. When those pedophiles were on here a few weeks ago, I was a mess. I was scared to death to come here. If you have hard facts and can prove it, take it to the mods and the board. If they have chosen to act differently, there must be something going on we don't know about. They are great guys who work really hard to protect us all.
Paul
 
There was an instance when a few 'boy lovers' decided to post after a blog from Kirk, I think.

They were quickly despatched,

ste
 
onefastbike

Perps that I am having hassles with on my blog, but nothing i cant handle as they are making themselves look bigger sickos than I possibly could. I am a firm believer in "give them enough rope" and they are sure doing a splendid job.

Kirk.
"Lets grab this bull by the horns and swing it about a bit"
 
A former member here had been attacking pedo's offsite and his activities brought them (the pedos) HERE trying to defend their "good names" so to speak. In essence, his actions brought an unacceptable element to this site and the posts have been removed.
 
and me without my Browning BFG .50

https://www4.army.mil/ocpa/uploads/large/OCPA-2005-03-31-131347.jpg
 
If a survivor is actively abusing others then I say he has no place on our main forum. I would include survivors who are abusing their spouses or children in this definition by the way, since a wife beater is just another flavour of perp.

If Malesurvivor wants to let him into the At Risk forum that's their business, but I say a definite no to having them in the main forums.


OFF TOPIC - onefastbike, does BFG stand for Big Fucking Gun? :p
 
I am not comfortable with the thought of perps being here, reading my posts and writing their own BS posts. I have no doubt they are here lurking about but I think they should be expelled and certainly not encouraged to post.

Dale
 
Mark & all,

There are many CSA survivors that have acted out in inappropriate ways. As the newest moderator here, I am very impressed with commitment, dedication and work ethic of the all the moderators. Any and all concerns of our membership are discussed, debated and acted upon in a timely manner by the entire moderator team. Due to privacy issues, our actions are not discussed, nor will they be discussed publicly, with anyone.

That being said - I know who you are referring to. It has been addressed. It will not be discussed further. We have no reason to believe that any member of Male Survivor has recently, or is presently abusing anyone.

If you (or anyone) has any new concerns, please contact me or any of the other moderators. We take all your concerns very seriously. The public forum is not an appropriate place to voice these concerns. Thank you for your understanding and cooperation.

Brian
 
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