Steve....telling your parents is a very risky proposition...after i was first hospitalized from a suicide attempt and realized the abuse had caused my multiple suicide attempts i decided i could not tell my mother, my father is dead.....then a few months later during an argument with my nephew, i let the truth out about being forced to give my uncle blowjobs, it just came blurting out...i knew he would tell my mother....i drove around in my car for a few days, sleeping in the car.....i could not be seen by anybody.....i was so ashamed.....i decided to kill myself.....i took a bunch of my heart pills and slit my wrists....i called the suicide line because i wanted them to let my therapist know that my death was not his fault.....even though i had left a note at his office and in my mother's mailbox....i called from a payphone which i did not think they could trace....the counselor kept me on the phone for a long time talking, then all the sudden like 6 police cars pulled up, then an ambulance....they took me to the hospital....the next day, i spoke to my sister and my mom, who told me what i told my nephew was disgusting.....i was in the hospital for 3 weeks.....i wanted and received no visitors.....when i got out, i decided to tell my dear mother....her response was...."well, i'll just have to call your uncle to find out the truth".....yes, he is going to incriminate himself....i understand my mother's denial, because i too try to deny what really happened to me.....it has kept me alive for a long time.....i really have come to hate my mother because of her initial reponse and the fact that she will talk about nothing.....i have not seen or spoken to her in over a year now, and i really have no intention to ever see her again.....
BE VERY CAREFUL.....no matter how understanding you think your parents may be, from what i've heard and read, the response i received from my mother....DENIAL, DENIAL, DENIAL.....is the response most parents ellicit.....i know my mom's response has made things much more difficult for me to deal with and i fear your parent's response could push your brother over the edge, just like it did me.....i think you need to let him decide when things are right, especially if the perpetrator is a family member.....you may think you know how your parents may respond, but there is no way to predict that......
if they are ever told, it should be his decision....if he wants you to tell them because he cannot, please warn him that their response may not be positive and in fact could be very negative....prepare him for the worst and hope for the best.....please let us know how things turn out.....take care of him.......michael
