should i tell my mom?

[lipsticklullabies]

i got in a major fight with my mom today and i realized that everything i was saying was bullshit. i was saying how my family hates me and that she doesn't listen to me. i always say that bceause thats how i feel but i realized its not like that.
i dont know how to tell her how im feeling so i think that she ignores my emotions. i think she doesn't care.
but thats exactly it i dont know how to tell her what im feeling.
i kinda want to tell her just incase theres something she can do to help me, or so she understands how hard a time im having right now.
but i dont trust her because last summer i told her something BIG. and she hates it and makes me feel horrible for it and calls me names because of it.
our relationship will never be the same since i told her. so, im to afraid to tell her this because i really dont think she'll beleive me and i know you guys are gonna say that everyone feels like that but you dont know my mom.
shes not realy all there.
she knows "how big of an imagination" i have. and thats one of the reasons i doubt myself because i DO have a horribly large imagination.
plus. she wont take it seriously. she wont think i need therpy, she doesn't believe in it. or so she says.
she'll mock me.
she'll use it against me later on, she does that wwith E V E R Y T H I N G.
she wont think its all that bad.
i want her to know what im going through so i can have a better relationship with her but.......... *im scared to,
*i dont trust her,
*dont know how to tell her
*and i dont know if i SHOULD tell her.

//josh

(thank you, for replying to all my posts with everything you guys have been saying, its helping. im really glad i have a place i feel safe)

 

[WalkingSouth]

Josh,

I wish I had a magic wand and could just wave it about so things would be better for you. I don't. I can tell you that I understand how you feel. Although the situation was somewhat different with me, I felt the same way when I was a teenager. There was no way I could tell. I'd have gotten in trouble for those things as if I was the one who'd done wrong. She had me so scared of her that I actually believed it was my fault. No way I could tell her, so I didn't.

I'd like to be able to tell you to "go ahead and talk to her about it", but I'm not convinced that is the best thing. It looks to me like you know the situation you Mom is in, and that she really isn't capable of helping you through this. If she is not in a place where she can help you, I don't see that it would do any good for you to talk to her about it, sorry to say.

Is there any other adult that you trust? An Aunt or an Uncle perhaps? Or a teacher maybe? Someone you think will be understanding and willing to listen? Teachers, I believe, are mandated by law to file a report. That is something you will want to consider before talking to one. I'm not saying it is a bad thing that the teacher does file a report, it just that you may want to have yourself mentally prepared for that eventuality should you decide to go that route with one of your teachers.

That is my take on the situation as you've presented it to us. Others here may have other thoughts worth considering.

Safe Hugs Bro,

John

 

[fightlikehell]

I know how you feel not being able to trust your parents. If you can find someone else to talk to that you can trust. I have started to talk to my brother nothing, specific but what i can get out really helps alot. If you need anything feel free to message me.

Best of Luck
- Adam

 

[reality2k4]

Josh,

I guess your mom is like, do this, do that, dont do this/that.

If there is loads going on in your mind you just want to scream it all out.

All she thinks, is that she has some freaked out son who she cannot get to, so you both argue about nothing, right.

She does love and care for you, but she cannot fathom out all the arguments and difficulties arising out of her relationship with you.

You on the other hand, love your mom, you dont want her hurt through your hurt.
You are finding it hugely difficult to tell her anything of your hurt.

If you look on it another way, she thinks that she is part of the course, or she has done something wrong to upset you that she cannot fathom.

You could leave her a letter saying that you love her and hate arguing all the time.
If you can, tell her its not her fault and you are hurting.

If you can tell her why, then you have dropped a huge part of the guilt and will feel more in control.

"Listen to me, for once in your life"!
Tell her that you are not fantasising.

In cases such as yours, the best way I can think of, is to meet with a counsellor who is experienced to guide you both through.

Hope this makes sense,

ste