Should I accept support?

Should I accept support?
M

mark250676

Registrant
I have a maternal figure in my life that seems to be reaching out to help me. She knows of my depression and also my work as a social worker and the stress this causes, I work with sex offenders sometimes.

The one thing that is holding me back is that she is very religious. I have always turned my back on religion because of my own personal believe system and worry that she will try to direct the support in order to 'convert me'.

But it's support. Should I accept it and trust my self to be able to reject it if it tries to 'convert' me?

Thanks

Mark
 
Religion can be tricky sometimes I know what you are talking about.

Follow the truth, tell her your feelings about what you have said here today and maybe she will not try to convert you, maybe she will only lend you the help and support you need.

Just my opinion I hope it helps,
 
Mark,

I would accept her support but stand firm by your own beliefs. Just let her know that you are grateful for her support but can't do much with it if it is conditional on a lot of other baggage that would trouble you. If her support is sincere she will understand that.

Much love,
Larry
 
Thanks I decided to as you can see below...

Dear Sylvia,

It feels really weird writing this letter but Ive decided to start talking to people. Ive always felt youve offered me help and hope through the years. Please dont think I ignored it. Your support meant a lot but I wasnt ready to talk then. Its taken years of therapy and understanding that I need help from medication to get to the point of being able to even put it down on paper. This letter will probably be a lot of ramble that doesnt make sense but thats a reflection of me at the moment.

Ive joined a male survivors of sexual abuse internet forum. It wasnt long ago that I thought all men posed a threat to me. It was a big step for me to make and it helped. My amazing children have also shown me that I cant be all bad. But part of me still screams with anger! Someone hurt me that much when I was a child. They pulled me apart from my family and sexualised every relationship in my life for years! I felt threatened by even the smallest physical contact from anyone in case they were trying to initiate something. And yet Im not strong enough to hate the person that did this to me. I wish I wanted to kill him. It would give me some release from this. Show myself that I care about myself.

I feel bad for putting all of this on Sar. She is the most beautiful and caring person I have ever meet. She is a perfect mum for our kids and Im sure you are both very proud of her. I feel guilty for putting this all on her plate and dont tell her some stuff. I feel guilty for putting it on your plate. But Mark the 7 year old screams out that I didnt ask for it either. I wish you and Sar could have meet him.

Im so sorry for not having let you and Marcel in before. Its never been a reflection of how I feel about you and the rest of your family but just my inability to let people in.

Its helped to write this.

Mark X
 
Mark,

In disclosing to friends and family members who are very religious I needed to establish boundaries. In particular with my parents. I had to tell them that my relationship with God has been at best difficult as a result of the abuse. That any support that they offer in relation to God is triggering for me. While they have respected this ... from time to time to mom try's to offer her spiritual advice to which I let her now that I'm feeling triggered and specifically how I'm feeling at that moment. Hopefully you can set up clear and specific boundaries. Hopefully you both don't beat each other up to much when the boundaries are accidentally over stepped and then reestablished.

Spirituality-Courage-Wisdom
 
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