She hurt me...

I didn't know it until I was in my late 20's. Heck I'd forgotten all about it...

But I remember that day when I remembered, and not just remembered, but realized...

That hurt so badly. Hurts even now. I think that day was the first time I really considered taking my own life.

I hurt so much. I don't even really remember the events of that day, except that I was at work and that I remembered... and that's it, everything else is just pain and raw emotion, heartache and anguish.

Damn it it hurts. Even more than anything that I've felt concerning the male perps in my life.

Some days I just think about how she's a drugged out loser with no life aside from her next hit and sleeping it off on the couch until she needs another. Then there are days that I want to go to her and hurt her and make hurt for what she's done to me.

So often when I'm trying to be close to my wife... the memories of that bitch come into my mind and just ruin in all.

It just hurts.
I have dealt with this concerning someone I knew also. I also was talking to a young man yesterday whose mother of his friend took his virginity in the back seat of her car when he was 15. He said he didn't think to much about it at the time but now it really bothers him when he is with his girlfriend. In fact I think they broke up last week.

People just do not get how damaging casual sex really is especially if it was not really wanted. But it is not the fault of sex per se it is the fault of the perp. Sex as origionally intended is good and healing to the soul. Sex perverted damages the soul beyond belief.


i know the hurt as well, i find myself seeing a female and wondering if they have hurt someone then i feel angry, even though i don't know them! i am truly afraid of females, but i know deep down that there are more good then bad out there and i need to have enough faith and trust in that, I'm learning if i think that i'm going to find someone who is going to hurt me, I'm going to attract that, i honestly see myself dying a lonely bitter old man who had never loved other - and that is her fault.. but how much of it is mine?