Shared the whole story

I just shared my entire story for the first time with another survivor in private. All of it. All the years of multiple sexual abuses and mental and physical abuse.

And it frightens me. What will he think? Will he even want to know me afterward. Will he think I am pathetic or looking for sympathy. I never even shared all of this with a therapist. I cried the whole time as I was writing it.
 
Appreciate your courage Jaxson. I was sharing cliff notes with my new therapist today and found myself not telling him some of the darker stuff. Being honest about it all with another person takes great courage. My guess is you've chosen well the person with whom to do this sharing and he will find compassion for you now that he knows fully what you've been carrying. I know it doesn't happen in every thread and every conversation but there is a level of honesty here that is inspiring. The idea that acknowledging the truth of what we've done serves our healing makes good sense to me. We're here to support you Jaxson, whatever happens with this friend. If you need support, let us know.
 

Sawyer49

Registrant
Jaxson,

So awesome that you shared your story, fully with another. I can relate to your feelings of will that person still be my friend.

Have I blown it.

Those thoughts are natural and the fear of losing a relationship is something that can keep me in a state of anxiety.
Acceptance from those we care for can prove to be challenging, past hurts can keep us from telling sharing , risking.


You are more than everything you shared with your friend, you are a guy who is kind caring and has a heart for others.

Do not fear this

Let the peace of knowing you trusted someone fill you with the knowledge that you did it. That your loved by those that get to know you. I am sure this person will realize what you did took courage.


Your friend

Sawyer
 
Jaxson, what you are experiencing is to be expected, as much as it is uncomfortable. I felt the same feelings, had the same reactions and sense of self betrayal. Its good to self assess your feelings. Helps to maintain your senses. But do not blame yourself.
 

Yellowblocks

Registrant
Jaxson, I joined yesterday and found an incredible friend, confidant and role model in you. I respect you and I can say for sure that there is no way that anything you write or share with anyone regarding your painful life experiences would make you appear weak to me, let alone “pathetic” or anything of that sort. I am always here if you wish to talk more. Cheers.
 
Thank you all. Turns out i had nothing to fear. I actually feel good that someone knows it all. First time ever doing that. Even my therapist never got the whole story.
 
That's good news Jaxson. Thanks for reporting back. I realize this moment that I've made an appointment for a face to face meeting with a friend IRL to tell her everything about my journey. I didn't think about that when I first responded to your post, but it dawns on my that I will be doing the same thing on October 24 when I visit her at her home to tell the tale. She is a survivor of rather horrible abuse by her father when she was very young and has shared a few of the details with a group of friends I met in OA. I realize that your sharing here is comforting. I wasn't thinking about losing this friend with my sharing but I think that feeling was lingering in the background. Your experience definitely helps me with what I'm about to do, so thanks for showing us how this can be done.
 
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