Shame is dissipating
It was only a month ago or so when I found this site but it was another layer of shame that was shed.
I’ve been on my healing journey for some time now. It has taken several forms in several chapters of my life.
Previously in my meth addiction, living homeless for three years and in psychosis, I would “give” myself to pedophile demons and in my sacrifice I would free the tormented boys, but I put myself in awful punishing scenarios over and over.
After treatment I was able to use psychedelics as a tool to uncover the deep pain associated to the trauma. After my first ayahuasca retreat I was able to meditate on my trauma and instead of use myself to relive the pain I could use love and support of a spiritual connection to heal and uncover the suffering in the boy I still am.
This is where I am now in my journeys.
I currently use mushrooms to do shadow work to strengthen the boy in me and let him know he is a warrior of strength and love and connect him to the light.
Everytime I am in my journey I feel less ashamed of what happened to me and of what I have become and more proud of what I am becoming and who I will be.
I have a clear understanding of what that boy in me what’s to do and that’s to help people.
I am finishing up my sociology ba. And going for to get my masters as an lmft then pursue a psyd in clinical psychology.
I want to specialize in male sexual trauma and behavioral patterns of individuals that suffer from drug induced psychosis.
I’ve been on my healing journey for some time now. It has taken several forms in several chapters of my life.
Previously in my meth addiction, living homeless for three years and in psychosis, I would “give” myself to pedophile demons and in my sacrifice I would free the tormented boys, but I put myself in awful punishing scenarios over and over.
After treatment I was able to use psychedelics as a tool to uncover the deep pain associated to the trauma. After my first ayahuasca retreat I was able to meditate on my trauma and instead of use myself to relive the pain I could use love and support of a spiritual connection to heal and uncover the suffering in the boy I still am.
This is where I am now in my journeys.
I currently use mushrooms to do shadow work to strengthen the boy in me and let him know he is a warrior of strength and love and connect him to the light.
Everytime I am in my journey I feel less ashamed of what happened to me and of what I have become and more proud of what I am becoming and who I will be.
I have a clear understanding of what that boy in me what’s to do and that’s to help people.
I am finishing up my sociology ba. And going for to get my masters as an lmft then pursue a psyd in clinical psychology.
I want to specialize in male sexual trauma and behavioral patterns of individuals that suffer from drug induced psychosis.