Shadow memory
About 20 years ago I was sitting with my wife in my parents den looking at pictures of me as a kid. We came across a camp picture of me with my bunk and counselors. The picture was partially mutilated the face of one of the counselors was gouged out with a pen. My wife asked what happened to this picture?
Did something happen in camp? I just totally shut down I was frozen, I went up to my room and didn’t want to talk or move. My wife was very scared and didn’t know what to do. I just laid there with out moving for hours.
Fast forward when I started therapy and started to unpack the past and all the layers of abuse I told my therapist about this event and that something happened at that camp with that counselor but couldn’t remember. Well last night I was talking a shower and the “Shadow memory” exploded in my head. I remember everything. I can’t share it right now but will. I’m kind of in shock numb. I cried all night on and off. Truly I’m just making sense out of it. I understand why I didn’t remember it was horrific. It also was the catalyst that introduced me to the house of horrors.
I am overwhelmed and totally numb. Can’t really feel anything right now. I guess that is my mind and body protecting me.
Did something happen in camp? I just totally shut down I was frozen, I went up to my room and didn’t want to talk or move. My wife was very scared and didn’t know what to do. I just laid there with out moving for hours.
Fast forward when I started therapy and started to unpack the past and all the layers of abuse I told my therapist about this event and that something happened at that camp with that counselor but couldn’t remember. Well last night I was talking a shower and the “Shadow memory” exploded in my head. I remember everything. I can’t share it right now but will. I’m kind of in shock numb. I cried all night on and off. Truly I’m just making sense out of it. I understand why I didn’t remember it was horrific. It also was the catalyst that introduced me to the house of horrors.
I am overwhelmed and totally numb. Can’t really feel anything right now. I guess that is my mind and body protecting me.
Last edited: