Shades of Grey movie
Mishka95673
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Shades of Grey movie
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Haven't and won't go see the movie. I read the books and they were incredibly triggering as a spouse.
First of all, the books were not even well written. And while perhaps the author had some personal experience, I don't believe for a minute she ever sat through an Al-anon meeting in her life. The book romanticizes something that isn't true. There is NOTHING romantic about abuse. And there is no person who is the cure for another person. And setting it up like that makes the survivor feel like he can't compete and makes the supporter feel like he/she isn't enough. People get healthy when they start the walk. The walk is long and dark and it takes time, courage, love and support. But no one can walk the walk for another - and this trilogy says that if you are smart enough, pretty enough, innocent enough, blah blah enough, you can CURE your man. And these thoughts run through a supporter's mind all the time anyway - we don't need crap literature to reinforce this flawed way of thinking. It is called codependence and it is unhealthy and self esteem destroying.
And perhaps I am jaded... but my husband didn't get healthy because I loved him enough - he started his process when he loved himself enough.
First of all, the books were not even well written. And while perhaps the author had some personal experience, I don't believe for a minute she ever sat through an Al-anon meeting in her life. The book romanticizes something that isn't true. There is NOTHING romantic about abuse. And there is no person who is the cure for another person. And setting it up like that makes the survivor feel like he can't compete and makes the supporter feel like he/she isn't enough. People get healthy when they start the walk. The walk is long and dark and it takes time, courage, love and support. But no one can walk the walk for another - and this trilogy says that if you are smart enough, pretty enough, innocent enough, blah blah enough, you can CURE your man. And these thoughts run through a supporter's mind all the time anyway - we don't need crap literature to reinforce this flawed way of thinking. It is called codependence and it is unhealthy and self esteem destroying.
And perhaps I am jaded... but my husband didn't get healthy because I loved him enough - he started his process when he loved himself enough.
Mishka95673
Registrant
.
Last edited by a moderator:
Mishka95673
Registrant
.
Last edited by a moderator:
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