sexual addiction
does anyone out there feel that they have become sex addicts? I dont mean fucking everyone in sight and contacting a virus but the importance of sex ruling their life? looking at women and thinking first sex person second?
Read RJD;s posts, they;re really good. I definately think I had a problem with a sex addiction. It took my shrink awhile to get me to see that. One way you know is (they say) if you give up important family, recreational and job activities because of sex. I was sleeping around and my wife gave me every chance to clean up my act til it got to be too much. I kept doing it and i lost my wife, daily contact with my kids, my house. There;s so many things that we use to do together, me and my wife or the four of us together, I miss those things. Hell, I could of lost my job too. I work in a warehouse but there;s women in the office. I;m ashamed to say I had sex with one of the women, I would of lost my job if anyone found out but I did it anyway.
Sex addiction is also when you spend too much time thinking about sex and planning to have sex. I know I didn;t think of those women as people. I didn;t care about them. It was just sex. When I;d get together with them it was just to have sex. I had no plans to marry any of them even though a few of them really liked me, it was just sex and I was using them the way my abuser used me. I could call one of them any time and ask to come over and she;d say yes. that would only mean sex. If i did do something nice for one of them it would just be so she;d still be there for me for sex. Even before I was sleeping around I got to thinking about sex too much with my wife. It was that I always got to thinking, will we have sex today? The few times I did something nice for her I would wonder if we;d have sex, not I hope this pleases her. I was messed up but Now I know that I had a problem. I had other posts where I explained why I slept around. No matter what, it was stupid and selfish. I know now my relationships with these other women was defined just by sex. I would of stopped hanging out with them all together if they stopped sleeping with me. When I realized some of this and also that I was treating them like my abuser treated me I stopped.
RJD pointed out that he put his wife in danger. I;m not sure if this is whatr he meant, but If you;re sleeping around and still having sex with your wife your putting her in danger, she might catch a disease you give her. If you still do it anyway then that;s probably another sign of a sex addiction. I would think, that won;t happen to me, and it didn;t but if I heard someone else telling this story I;d be really pissed and say how could anyone be so stupid in this day and age? Especially since I don;t know what those women were doing , well this isn;t supposed to be a health and hygene class, you get the point.
Good luck to you.
[ September 05, 2001: Message edited by: big bear ]
Sex addiction is also when you spend too much time thinking about sex and planning to have sex. I know I didn;t think of those women as people. I didn;t care about them. It was just sex. When I;d get together with them it was just to have sex. I had no plans to marry any of them even though a few of them really liked me, it was just sex and I was using them the way my abuser used me. I could call one of them any time and ask to come over and she;d say yes. that would only mean sex. If i did do something nice for one of them it would just be so she;d still be there for me for sex. Even before I was sleeping around I got to thinking about sex too much with my wife. It was that I always got to thinking, will we have sex today? The few times I did something nice for her I would wonder if we;d have sex, not I hope this pleases her. I was messed up but Now I know that I had a problem. I had other posts where I explained why I slept around. No matter what, it was stupid and selfish. I know now my relationships with these other women was defined just by sex. I would of stopped hanging out with them all together if they stopped sleeping with me. When I realized some of this and also that I was treating them like my abuser treated me I stopped.
RJD pointed out that he put his wife in danger. I;m not sure if this is whatr he meant, but If you;re sleeping around and still having sex with your wife your putting her in danger, she might catch a disease you give her. If you still do it anyway then that;s probably another sign of a sex addiction. I would think, that won;t happen to me, and it didn;t but if I heard someone else telling this story I;d be really pissed and say how could anyone be so stupid in this day and age? Especially since I don;t know what those women were doing , well this isn;t supposed to be a health and hygene class, you get the point.
Good luck to you.
[ September 05, 2001: Message edited by: big bear ]
Gee look at her, I'ld bet that she's a wonderfull person or look at those tits and that ass. Get real now! If you are still alive and not married to some church...you are going to do this first! SA is like AA but for sex, has meeting everyday all over the country....GO...don't be sceared! Check out the stories face to face...each meeting is only an hour long and will answer all of your questions about sex addicts and the 40's thing for wanting to get as much pussy as you can before your dick dies! They will love you there...tell your story of you, a survivor of male to male SA out there looking for pussy rather then cock and blaming it on the SA....They will just love you!!!!!!
Eddie
[ September 05, 2001: Message edited by: getteddie ]
Eddie
[ September 05, 2001: Message edited by: getteddie ]
All I know is that after being married to a great woman for years I put myself on a path of self destruction having sex with different women. There;s lots of reasons why I did it but I know I only wanted to be with them for sex. I wasn;t going to marry any of them. Then finally one day I realized I was ttreating them the way my abuser treated me and my life was going nowhere. I was doing this and thought it wwould make me feel better but it didn;t, it made me feel worse. I lost everything that mattered. I saw that the only time in my miserable life I was happy was with my wife, I wasn;t happy doing what I was doing, it wasn;t working. I didn;t know yet where I was going but I knew this wasn;t working. So I stopped. It was hard, I don';t know how many times I almost called one of them to get together but it was time to be honest with myself.
An alky has other problems they cover up by drinking. Same with sex. I had lots of other issues I was avoiding by having sex with other women. After I stopped seeing them things began to clear up in my head, I didn;t have to be ashamed of what I was doing anymore, I didn;t have to worry about them telling other people I didn;t want to know like my family or my job. I could focus on my real problems better.
An alky has other problems they cover up by drinking. Same with sex. I had lots of other issues I was avoiding by having sex with other women. After I stopped seeing them things began to clear up in my head, I didn;t have to be ashamed of what I was doing anymore, I didn;t have to worry about them telling other people I didn;t want to know like my family or my job. I could focus on my real problems better.
thunderbolt
Registrant
yup i know my dick would feel great in that, ive gotten more pussy by asking them, do you fuck as good as you look, and i feel much better saying that then i was fucked by some guy when i was i child...sex is who i am, its what i want, i got married for it, i think it breath it smell it see it teast it hear it read it forget it remember it walk it talk it ask for it beg for it wise for it dam what the fuck else is there ? ...
God, have I ever felt that way. Sometimes sex is the only thing that I can think about. It used to rule my consciousness. I would just "go on autopilot", do something stupid or risky and then feel like shit afterward and promise never to do it again. But I did. It took a real wake up call for me to realize what I had been doing,the risks that I was taking and the possibility that I might bring home some disease to my wife. I still struggle and sometimes I fail, knowing on an intellectual level what I am doing and why I am doing it helps, but I want desperately not to have those desires and urges to have sex with someone. I've talked with my therapist about it and I am working on it and I will get better, but I want it to happen now so that I can get on with my life.
Steve
Steve