Sexual Abuse & Legal Court Battle's..........
mattandrew
Registrant
This post by me will be for all to read,take and share on as i have talked with another survivor in the chat and he has asked me to post my thoughts and suggestions to the board so bear with me.
Like i already said the reason why i am posting this experience that i personally have gone thru is to help others survivors thru the rough time and to help with the questions of what if's and how do you cope and heal with going thru a court battle with your "perp" .
I personally have gone the court route not by choice though it was forced upon me as a child when the abuse in my life came to pass.As a young child i do remember having to talk to attorney's,police detectives,therapists,judges,child welfare services and many more.The reason why i am telling you all this is because i do not want to see the nightmare that i went thru happen to anyone else.
My suggestions for those here facing legal battle's in court with their perp is this,you need to be emotionally ready for at least over one year of time of hell as the court system takes a slow time to process cases.As for medical records and therapy records they should remain private however, i have seen cases where the survivors medical records and therapy records get into the court file and court public record for anyone to get a hold of,this causes a living nightmare for the survivor later on in life if they wish to remain private.
I myself was literally afraid of the media as a child due to the fact of watching the nightly news and hearing of abuse cases that were aired on local television networks,i did not want to be another survivor eaten alive by the media or newspapers so i told everyone i came into contact with that ever asked me anything about my story to not go to any tv station or newspaper as i wished to remain private at the time.
As for dealing with attorney's they can either become your best friend or your worst nightmare,the reason why i state this is because if you get in front of a jury these lawyers can and will turn everything into a circus (not barnum bailey either) they can take and twist everything around on you as the survivor on the witness stand to make you seem like what you are telling the court is not credible.As for prosecutors well they are in a class by themselves i tend to call them the "lion's ready for lunch" and the reason why i do call them this is because i have heard out of prosecutors mouths that i wanted this abuse,i asked to be abused,i consented to the abuse,why did you not stop the abuse or tell someone, all these statements i heard as a child when faced with the prosecutors even though my perp had confessed eventually to the police that he did abuse me.
I was video taped with a detective and a camera man in the room,they asked all sort of questions,such as where did your father touch you,how did it make you feel,did he force you to have sex with him,did he just do the sex act upon me.All these things i had to face at such a young age which was not easy.
As for medical records and therapy records they should remain private however,if you are taking the perp to court or such as the church to court and asking for things from them such as for them to pay for therapy or medical,you can darn well expect them to want everything in regard to your medical and therapy records regardless of patient - client confidentiality, they as the person being taken to court can and will gain access to all this info as to the exact nature of the subject who abused you and where it occurred,how it occurred,how long it was taking place.Now if you have talked in therapy about anything else not related to the abuse by this certain subject then the defendant should not be allowed access to the medical and therapy files,even if they do get a hold of them,you as the patient can demand for the area's that do not pertain to the case to be gone over with black permanent marker so this way that info will be non-public info should the medical records be entered into the discovery process and the evidence in court in front of the jury.Now the attorney's can if they so choose ask a judge for permission to be able to have access to anything that they might feel pertains to the case,the attorney's tend to go back into your life besides just the abuse,they go into family life at home with mom & dad,brothers,sisters and other family in order to establish how you may have acted in actions toward the perp before the abuse and then after the abuse how you acted towards this subject.
It is up to the survivor to make sure their private identity is not compromised in any way if they so desire not to be known otherwise, the survivor needs to be ready to handle the backlash of public scrutiny for coming out and making the abuse public knowledge.The reason why i bring this to everyone's attention is due to the fact that, the reason why i do not disclose my personal identity on this website just yet is this, when the perp goes thru the courts and is convicted and then also placed onto sexual offenders registries thru out the nation or even local there is a big possibility that the victims/survivors info now becomes public information in regard to this perp.It may or may not list actual names but, it will list whether or not the victim was an underaged person or whether or not they might have been elderly such as in the case of an assistive living center who needs to be taken care of due to being less able bodied individual.I note that should victim info be placed onto the registry,
*** MAKE SURE AT THE TIME OF THE COURT CASE **
IF UNDERAGE AT THE TIME OF THE ABUSE THIS GETS NOTED ON THE SEXUAL OFFENDERS REGISTRY OTHERWISE, IF NOT NOTED AND IF LEGALLY THE COURT OR POLICE AGENCY IS ABLE TO PLACE VICTIM IDENTIFICATION ONTO THIS REGISTRATION THEY WILL DO SO.Here is proof of what can be listed on a sexual offenders registration which i did not know until i found out:
Qualifying Offense(s):
LEWD,LASCIVIOUS CHILD U/16
Victim(s): Gender: unknown ; Minor? yes
This info was transfered by myself from my perps registration on the net.This info they do post on the net which i never was aware of until i found my perps info on the net.So as you can see if you are not careful you may or may not have your personal info placed into a sexual offenders registration in a public manner which you will not have any choice about.
My suggestion to those who are going to go thru a court battle with their perp is to stop and think before acting upon it as it can and will change the rest of your life not just by the sexual abuse but, you will be on public display and trial yourself.
Give the courts only what they need to win the case everything else remain out of the case otherwise you are asking to be placed into the spot light,also too if the attorney's get a hold of your medical records and therapy records,you may at your request have the file sealed to outside public from being able to walk into the court house and look at the public info,if it is sealed the person requesting the info must go thru a hearing to ask a judge to get the file unsealed and as to why they are seeking to look into this file that has been sealed.
I hope this helps everyone in regard to fighting an up hill battle in court.I learned several lessons real fast growing up otherwise my identification would be public info for all to be able to access.
Like i already said the reason why i am posting this experience that i personally have gone thru is to help others survivors thru the rough time and to help with the questions of what if's and how do you cope and heal with going thru a court battle with your "perp" .
I personally have gone the court route not by choice though it was forced upon me as a child when the abuse in my life came to pass.As a young child i do remember having to talk to attorney's,police detectives,therapists,judges,child welfare services and many more.The reason why i am telling you all this is because i do not want to see the nightmare that i went thru happen to anyone else.
My suggestions for those here facing legal battle's in court with their perp is this,you need to be emotionally ready for at least over one year of time of hell as the court system takes a slow time to process cases.As for medical records and therapy records they should remain private however, i have seen cases where the survivors medical records and therapy records get into the court file and court public record for anyone to get a hold of,this causes a living nightmare for the survivor later on in life if they wish to remain private.
I myself was literally afraid of the media as a child due to the fact of watching the nightly news and hearing of abuse cases that were aired on local television networks,i did not want to be another survivor eaten alive by the media or newspapers so i told everyone i came into contact with that ever asked me anything about my story to not go to any tv station or newspaper as i wished to remain private at the time.
As for dealing with attorney's they can either become your best friend or your worst nightmare,the reason why i state this is because if you get in front of a jury these lawyers can and will turn everything into a circus (not barnum bailey either) they can take and twist everything around on you as the survivor on the witness stand to make you seem like what you are telling the court is not credible.As for prosecutors well they are in a class by themselves i tend to call them the "lion's ready for lunch" and the reason why i do call them this is because i have heard out of prosecutors mouths that i wanted this abuse,i asked to be abused,i consented to the abuse,why did you not stop the abuse or tell someone, all these statements i heard as a child when faced with the prosecutors even though my perp had confessed eventually to the police that he did abuse me.
I was video taped with a detective and a camera man in the room,they asked all sort of questions,such as where did your father touch you,how did it make you feel,did he force you to have sex with him,did he just do the sex act upon me.All these things i had to face at such a young age which was not easy.
As for medical records and therapy records they should remain private however,if you are taking the perp to court or such as the church to court and asking for things from them such as for them to pay for therapy or medical,you can darn well expect them to want everything in regard to your medical and therapy records regardless of patient - client confidentiality, they as the person being taken to court can and will gain access to all this info as to the exact nature of the subject who abused you and where it occurred,how it occurred,how long it was taking place.Now if you have talked in therapy about anything else not related to the abuse by this certain subject then the defendant should not be allowed access to the medical and therapy files,even if they do get a hold of them,you as the patient can demand for the area's that do not pertain to the case to be gone over with black permanent marker so this way that info will be non-public info should the medical records be entered into the discovery process and the evidence in court in front of the jury.Now the attorney's can if they so choose ask a judge for permission to be able to have access to anything that they might feel pertains to the case,the attorney's tend to go back into your life besides just the abuse,they go into family life at home with mom & dad,brothers,sisters and other family in order to establish how you may have acted in actions toward the perp before the abuse and then after the abuse how you acted towards this subject.
It is up to the survivor to make sure their private identity is not compromised in any way if they so desire not to be known otherwise, the survivor needs to be ready to handle the backlash of public scrutiny for coming out and making the abuse public knowledge.The reason why i bring this to everyone's attention is due to the fact that, the reason why i do not disclose my personal identity on this website just yet is this, when the perp goes thru the courts and is convicted and then also placed onto sexual offenders registries thru out the nation or even local there is a big possibility that the victims/survivors info now becomes public information in regard to this perp.It may or may not list actual names but, it will list whether or not the victim was an underaged person or whether or not they might have been elderly such as in the case of an assistive living center who needs to be taken care of due to being less able bodied individual.I note that should victim info be placed onto the registry,
*** MAKE SURE AT THE TIME OF THE COURT CASE **
IF UNDERAGE AT THE TIME OF THE ABUSE THIS GETS NOTED ON THE SEXUAL OFFENDERS REGISTRY OTHERWISE, IF NOT NOTED AND IF LEGALLY THE COURT OR POLICE AGENCY IS ABLE TO PLACE VICTIM IDENTIFICATION ONTO THIS REGISTRATION THEY WILL DO SO.Here is proof of what can be listed on a sexual offenders registration which i did not know until i found out:
Qualifying Offense(s):
LEWD,LASCIVIOUS CHILD U/16
Victim(s): Gender: unknown ; Minor? yes
This info was transfered by myself from my perps registration on the net.This info they do post on the net which i never was aware of until i found my perps info on the net.So as you can see if you are not careful you may or may not have your personal info placed into a sexual offenders registration in a public manner which you will not have any choice about.
My suggestion to those who are going to go thru a court battle with their perp is to stop and think before acting upon it as it can and will change the rest of your life not just by the sexual abuse but, you will be on public display and trial yourself.
Give the courts only what they need to win the case everything else remain out of the case otherwise you are asking to be placed into the spot light,also too if the attorney's get a hold of your medical records and therapy records,you may at your request have the file sealed to outside public from being able to walk into the court house and look at the public info,if it is sealed the person requesting the info must go thru a hearing to ask a judge to get the file unsealed and as to why they are seeking to look into this file that has been sealed.
I hope this helps everyone in regard to fighting an up hill battle in court.I learned several lessons real fast growing up otherwise my identification would be public info for all to be able to access.