Self Sabotage or WTF Syndrome
reality2k4
Registrant
We are all wounded in childhood in various ways, no family is perfect, even if we don't realize it. How family members and authority figures treated us as we grew up affects our self-image and all of our relationships today and into the future.
Without awareness, we cannot outgrow infantile habits and strategies that no longer work ... and our personal power cannot develop.
It can be a little scary to explore ... but if left unchecked, old programming can perpetuate destructive patterns in our love life, friendships and career.
Do you sometimes sabotage opportunities ... or feel inferior when confronted with certain situations? Or, perhaps, you get bossy when you don't have to? These behaviors are often rooted deep in our past -- we are mirroring what we experienced as a child.
I hate being bossy, and ppl tell me I should be a boss, but no thanks, I am far too passive to be a boss, but ppl tell me different, and why? Would they do that!
It is because I treated bosses like any other, didnt bow to them, never sucked up to them.
I told them what I think always, but that is me, honest to the core, and sure tell them what I think.
I often used to get chided for not listening in conversations, or team meetings at work, but that is a childhood trait, when I just was not seen as one of the kids, and seemed to be treated like some pet or something, so rather than being animated in conversation, I shyed away.
I worked in an office of 40 ppl, mostly women, but time and time again, they would talk about me, whilst they must have known I was in earshot of what they said.
I just pretended not to hear them, and silently hatched a plot to get them back, one by one.
One girl always moaned all the time, and one day, I said out loud, WTF, do you have to moan about!
Yeah, she moaned all the time I knew her, she said she loved me to, but I am used to being used by ppl who think I am their puppet.
What got to me, though, a lot of the women liked me so much, so maybe it caused jealousy, because these women would share so much of their secrets with me, because they knew I would not tell another, even to the point of needing me to be with them at meetings.
One told me about a rape, and another about beatings, but never could I say to them what happened to me, but yes, I did email one of them to tell her what happened.
Guess she never thought it happened to boys.
I hated all of this jealousy and bullying, and thought, I've had enough of that as a kid!
But bullies get jealous about liking others and preferring company to their own, and it is a vicious unchecked cycle.
Guess what! I pick my friends on, not what they have to offer, but just be good company and friendship is all I ever craved in life, and jealousy is my enemy, always has been.
So I guess that I was wounded, but also guess I have some good traits, but dont take advantage of the gift horse,
ste
Without awareness, we cannot outgrow infantile habits and strategies that no longer work ... and our personal power cannot develop.
It can be a little scary to explore ... but if left unchecked, old programming can perpetuate destructive patterns in our love life, friendships and career.
Do you sometimes sabotage opportunities ... or feel inferior when confronted with certain situations? Or, perhaps, you get bossy when you don't have to? These behaviors are often rooted deep in our past -- we are mirroring what we experienced as a child.
I hate being bossy, and ppl tell me I should be a boss, but no thanks, I am far too passive to be a boss, but ppl tell me different, and why? Would they do that!
It is because I treated bosses like any other, didnt bow to them, never sucked up to them.
I told them what I think always, but that is me, honest to the core, and sure tell them what I think.
I often used to get chided for not listening in conversations, or team meetings at work, but that is a childhood trait, when I just was not seen as one of the kids, and seemed to be treated like some pet or something, so rather than being animated in conversation, I shyed away.
I worked in an office of 40 ppl, mostly women, but time and time again, they would talk about me, whilst they must have known I was in earshot of what they said.
I just pretended not to hear them, and silently hatched a plot to get them back, one by one.
One girl always moaned all the time, and one day, I said out loud, WTF, do you have to moan about!
Yeah, she moaned all the time I knew her, she said she loved me to, but I am used to being used by ppl who think I am their puppet.
What got to me, though, a lot of the women liked me so much, so maybe it caused jealousy, because these women would share so much of their secrets with me, because they knew I would not tell another, even to the point of needing me to be with them at meetings.
One told me about a rape, and another about beatings, but never could I say to them what happened to me, but yes, I did email one of them to tell her what happened.
Guess she never thought it happened to boys.
I hated all of this jealousy and bullying, and thought, I've had enough of that as a kid!
But bullies get jealous about liking others and preferring company to their own, and it is a vicious unchecked cycle.
Guess what! I pick my friends on, not what they have to offer, but just be good company and friendship is all I ever craved in life, and jealousy is my enemy, always has been.
So I guess that I was wounded, but also guess I have some good traits, but dont take advantage of the gift horse,
ste
