Self-Sabotage or did I always knew it wouldn’t work?
I had a very rough night, barely slept a wink, thinking endlessly about my T telling me he can’t keep working with me. The truth is, I saw this coming, but I’m trying to figure out if I’ve been self-sabotaging, or whether deep down inside I knew this T wouldn’t work out. Since I started treatment at the center, I’ve been paranoid about the possibility of being kicked out despite me being a respectful, well-behaved patient, for failing to respond as expected. I did my best to work their program despite my misgivings, thinking it was just all in my mind, but, maybe my paranoia was telling me something? With my T, I also got the same feeling, does he know what he’s doing? Is this all in my mind? Have I been self-sabotaging my treatment to the current result, or have I known all along that this wasn’t going to work?
Probably there’s no point in tormenting myself with these questions, although they do seem interesting. Hopefully I’ll get more clarity down the road.
Probably there’s no point in tormenting myself with these questions, although they do seem interesting. Hopefully I’ll get more clarity down the road.