Self doubting

Self doubting
A

ak

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I have a decision that must be made in the next few weeks. It is one that will greatly affect me, my life, my career, where I am physically and some emotionally also. No matter what I choose, there will be good and bad that come of it. No matter what I choose, there will be gain and loss.

I know I am not unique, I am not trying to be selfish to say that 'oh look at this hard thing'. I know it is small, and I know that everone face such decisions all the time. As someone point out to me, I am at an age where such decisions are frequent.

I have made bad choices in my life. I have made choices that have caused negative things to happen. I made the choice that put me into position to be abused. No, I did not cause it to happen. But I have made choices that have had very bad consequences.

I do not wish to lose anyone with my choice. I hope very much to carry people with me in my heart. There are people who enter your life and enter your heart and never go away. I hope that the closeness can remain even when the physical distance is greater. I know it works with my family. I hope also will work with such good friends. Just not wishing anymore loss right now. But I guess it goes on to be ok. Just doubting myself and choices some.

ANdrei
 
Andrei,

Actually, your case is unique. It sounds like the decision you have to make will determine the course of your future, and that is something extremely important to you and everyone who cares about you.

Yes, the age of 20 is a time when a lot of crucial decisions are made. Sometimes we don't see that until we look back years later, and sometimes we see it right then and there. But you have already made quite a few of these critical decisions already: a decision for skating, a decision to do it in a serious way, a decision to go to the USA, and so on. This one sounds like it is difficult because, as you say, you see gain and loss whatever you do.

You sound like this is to some extent about fear of losing friends. Friendships are strange beasts. Sometimes you think one will never end, then suddenly you realize you haven't spoken to the guy for 10 years. Then in other cases someone you did not recognize at first as a great friend proves to be one in the long run. I think whatever you decide to do, the friendships that were "meant to be" will survive.

You have a good heart and you strike me as a young man of integrity and character. Just choose on the basis of a serious and honest assessment of what is best for you and what your needs and obligations are. Everyone affected will have to understand that this is what you are doing, and I don't doubt that your friends will stand by you whatever you decide.

Take care,
Larry
 
Andrei,

I in some way can relate to your problem. I moved to switzerland four years ago to be with my wife. I had to leave my family and friends in Toronto. So I can at least relate to the part about moving.

I do not think it is ever easy. To move or make a big change is very difficult. It is not something that should be taken lightly and obviously you are really examining what you need to do.

The only advice I can give you is to follow your heart. It knows whatis right for you. If you listen to yourself you will always beable to say that you did what you thought to be right.

Like Larry said, I am sure your friends will be there for you what ever you choose.

Take care and good luck,

Jonathan
 
Andrei the true friends you have will always be there for you. I guarantee it. And I agree with Jonathon "Follow your heart". The world is a much smaller place for you now. And your friends will always be close by.

The decision you will make will be the right one and all your friends will support it. That I can guarantee.
 
Andrei
the only bad choice is to make a decision without thinking about it, but you're doing that.

If it involves a big move and the possibility of chances that will affect your whole life, which this decision seems to be about, then remember that the world is a small place these days, good friends are never more than an email away.

I wish you all the best in whatever you choose, but I have a strong suspicion that you have the strength and will to go for it.

Dave
 
Andrei,

I know I don't know much about this 'decision' that has to be made - but I do think that it is great that you are thinking it through as best as you can

everyone on the face of this earth has made bad decisions at some point in their life - we learn from them - and we move on - that's the way that life works - bad decisions help us to make better ones in the future

you have a good heart - I am sure that you will make the best choice possible

Your freinds will always be here for you

TJ jeff
 
I think, that there is nothing to doubt is relative. It is a lot of elections to lives, there will be and are good and bad regardless of the fact that you make. But something will be usual within the limits of you directly, your heart which speaks that is the best for you. The best thing to make - listen to it. I think, you choose it.

VN
 
Sometimes one has a choice and sometimes the choice is made for you. Spending time in the Army I learned that sometimes you have nothing to do with it, the decision is made for the people involved and it's up to the individual to make the best of it.

I think that you have some of that going on here. You are not told with whom you have to live, you have made some choice there. And, I think that you have decided who will coach you.

That is a big decision in that it may be the difference of making the path that you want to make or someone else putting you in most difficult situations.

Andrei, you have many friends and admirers and a lot of them are right here. We hope that you will keep us posted as to your adventure in Russia. Something tells me that you will be more independent then you first thought.

And then, in a couple of years, you will be making your own destiny.
Wishing you God's speed and a host of Angels to watch over you, Visha, your coach and all of those close to you.

David
 
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