self care and no harshness

[markgreyblue]

I wanted to share with you something ---

My self care is coming to the fore

I used to be able to envision a goal and hit the floor running - and get it done - an art project

an idea - a concept -
...

I can still do it - but I do not know if it is so good -

In coming to Toronto - and in being alone I learned a great deal about identity - how i related to myself how others relate to themselves -

and learned painful truths about some people in Toronto -

through the upset and the distance from friends - the outcome is learning to be self caring -
and self reliant - learning about myself -
and the life I am to lead - ahead of me -

my mind - my desires - for the future -

I learned too - that I cannot be so draconian (harsh) with myself - My vision cannot be too narrow - too specific - because I am not one thing - nor to I like or want just one thing -

I am seeing that -
I know some of the kinds of things I want to have in my life -
but I also know certainly there will be other things that I did not expect
will pop in their as well -
but I know myself pretty well now-

and I can imagine the parameters of what those things will be - I am not so complex -

and so rather than - focus and beat myself to achieve

some 'form' -

I am looking to my general knowledge of myself now - as a guide -
generally I know what kind of things generally
I like - and

It makes me just enjoy this moment now -

I think this is a good thing -

Have a great weekend fellas -

Mark