Seeing the life after abuse

[MrDon]

You know, I've been starting to see this for quite some time but it is really hitting me more with the stuff I have recently jumped over (like massage school) and just passing the board exam. And last night I went and did chair massage as a volunteer at a Innermotion performance. Innermotion is a group of incest survivors that use dance and performances to help tell the story of abuse and to help others heal from it. It is a very moving experience to see their performances.

But I got thinking last night that I know what I'm doing and that I'm here in life right now where I need to be and doing what I need to be doing (well except for my current full time day job). Never before in my life could I say this. And even though I have a lot of fears that creep around me doing all of this (and they are numerous), I am becoming more confident in knowing that I can do this. That's been such a long time in coming.

I also volunteered to help call the members of our massage group in this county about upcoming meetings so that I could keep working on my fear of talking to people. And thursday night I start my volunteer chair massage at the MIami children's hospital.

So many things going on for me and these are all good things. They give me a more complete sense of my place in the world and the universe and they help me have a worthwhile focus in life as well. And all of this is helping me to heal and grow as a person. I'm just so darn happy right now with all of it.

I see things up here of people that are just starting out in their journey of healing and see the struggles everyone faces and those are all too real to me. Than I look at where I have come and I know that healing is possible. I've still got some distance to travel, but I am finally in a much better place than I once was.

Hopefully for the next Voices conference, I will be doing a workshop on relaxation and maybe one on touch and survivors. I hope to find a way logistically to do chair massage as well (considering the conference is in Minnesota I think and I live in Miami). Time will figure that one out. My therapist also has asked me to speak to her class of abuse survivors in the local school system as well which I told her I would be open to doing.

And so I just keep facing them fears down and putting myself out there. As one of the performers said last night, the more he talks about his story to people the more he heals. I think I would agree that I have found the same to be true for me.

Keep on keeping on!

Don

 

[martin]

Don,

Your success is an inspiration to us all. It shows that healing really is possible and thats something we all need.

I think to find your place in this world is the very essence of healing and spirituality. Not for just survivors of SA but for every human being. Its what we all deeply desire.

Thanks for sharing your story and please do keep on keeping on.

BTW I didn't get a chance to respond to your post about the state boards, so let me take this opportunity to say congratulations

Aaron

 

[MrDon]

Aaron,
Thanks. I still have my pretty rough days as well, but as least they seem to be fewer and less frequent then they once were. I still struggle pretty hard at times with anger but that is improving a little.

Thanks for the congrats as well. It is definately a big stepping stone in my life.

Don

 

[Mike Church]

Don. Isn't it a great feeling> It is new for us. To be whole in our own minds. And have worth. Sure we have bad days but I dont know anyone on earth who doesnt. But those bad days are just that and theys soon pass into history.

I like today. It is good to be alive and healthy and to enjoy myself.

Such a novel feeling is it not.

 

[ScottyTodd]

Don - I am so very happy for you. I know that feeling of finding your place in the world. The feeing that you were created to do what you're doing and the abuse of the past has been a learning through which we can become the most fantastic giving people today.

To do something that brings you so much joy , fulfillment and satisfaction is more than a dream come true. Then to realize the deep crap, feelings and pain you survived to get where you are just gives a feeling of accomplishment and achievement. Even though there are rough days and issues to figure out and still work through, you feel that sense of life's purpose for yourself!

There is a certain sense that I'm finally getting my life back for me. What my perps stole I am beginning to replace piece by piece. I hope I am helping others find their pieces too!

This is how it has happened for me and I hope you have those same highs!! You've worked hard - enjoy the rewards!!



Howard