Seeing Ted (a.k.a Perp#1)

[Chey-Wy]

Today I had planed what I thought was going to be a wonderful day. The hospital here in Cheyenne is dedicating a new 180 private bed patient tower. It is supposed to be the most state of the art hosopital in the regeon. In two years my mother will have worked/volunteered at the hospital for 55 years ( she took 5 years off when my sister and I were adopted)

Anyway, mom is involved in the dedication and I wanted to go see the new rooms. It is 2 blocks from my house and I have been a sidewalk supuervisor since they started construction. Knowing that parking would be limited ( and besides it was a nice day) I walked to the hospital. I could go in the back door even though the tour started at the front door. It didn't even occur to me that I might run into Ted.

About a half a block away I spotted Ted's Green Pontiac Mini-van. My mood immediately changed. What I had planed to be a wonderful day had suddenly been ruined. I thought of turning back but knew that I had told mom that I would meet her there. Turning back was not an option. The closer I got to the Mini-van the more anxious I became. I walked in the door. I looked around for mom. I saw Ted standing accross the room. I told myself " O K I can handle this" I saw mom and walked over to meet her.

Mom was a tour guide so she left when the ceremony was over and told me to go and get in line for the tour and refreshments. I looked at the line and decided that the best option was to get in the tour line. I could get some cake and punch later. There were a tons of people there that I knew, many of my customers, people from church, U. S. Senator Craig Thomas, and Ted.
I thought I could mingle, keep my distance, avoid him.

But who was I fooling. I was talking to the President of the Board of Directors and who walks up? Ted. I went over to talk to a friend from church and who suddenly was next to me? Ted . I hadn't seen Mr. Thomas for about a year, but I knew that if I went over to talk to him who would be there? Ted.

Finally, I went over and got in the line to start the tour. We had to wait for the elevator to take us up to the rooms. The lady in line next to me was a lady that I sang with in church choir, however she avoided the topic of church. She sang in the choir with me. I didn't even think that Ted also was in the choir. Again, who walked up? Ted I just took a deep breath, looked at the line waiting for the elevator, and hoped that I wouldn't get stuck in the elevator with Ted.

I got lucky this time. Ted saw someone getting off the elevatror and stopped to talk to them. All day long I have been wondering Why is it that everytime I go out anticipating to have a good time that TED is in my face?

I avoided Ted today. Tomorrow I might not be as lucky.


John

 

[Lloydy]

John

Turning back was not an option.

it never was John, your right - he's wrong.

I'm so glad you stuck it out, NEVER let him get the better of you.

Dave

 

[Jess]

John:

Way to go, Man! You showed great courage and strength of character today. You made a commitment to your Mom and yourself to go to the ceremonies at the hospital. You went. Even after you saw your perp's vehicle and you knew he would be there, you stuck to your commitment and summoned up the courage you needed to face your "demons" if you needed to. You actually saw the "perp-in-the-flesh", but you continued to carry out the plan for your life today. You were sociable with those you wanted to associate with, and even though your perp continually tried to come up and "interact with"/"interfere with"/"stalk" and/or "abuse" you in some way you successfully and "maturely" dealt with it, and avoided him in an appropriate manner. You are a REAL MAN, John! Because of this, you as a Man can protect yourself from any further psychological abuse this man, Ted, can try to inflict on you. You are NOT a VICTIM any longer. You are a strong SURVIVOR and you are actually an ACTIVIST and an ADVOCATE for others who are at risk of being sexually abused, and a compassionate and supportive "Brother" for those who have been victimized and now need your strength and courage to move forward in their lives and receive healing and ultimately recover through the strength and support you can give them.

Thanks for posting today, and for sharing a great story of your strength and great will to persevere even in the fearful face of the Ted-the-Perp, today's embodiment of the "devil" himself.

The Bible says, "Resist the Devil and he will flee." You did it today, my Brother! You proved it and he did flee and he did leave you, alone.

Great job, John. You keep going, Man! You're awesome!

Sincerely, Jess.

 

[orodo]

(((((((((((CHEY)))))))))

My Brother, Another of my heroes...

You have incredible strength.

 

[Mike Church]

Chey-WY
What you did took a hell of a lot of courage and you made it. Whats more TED the PRICK has not got a goddamned clue what you are all about. I know you cant kick a guy in balls in public even though the urge might be to do it. I will tell you what I did when I ran into one of my Johns (customers) and he was like Ted was with you. Finally I said to myself screw it. Taking the Bull by the horns so to speak. He had been following me around and I had been trying to avoid him and it got me all in a sweat. Fuckit I walked right up to him, but a brillian smile on my face and 1) I asked him if he was still getting off with boys. I said this all the time in a bright cheerful voice. I also asked him if his friends and family knew what he was really like. Then I lowered voice and looked him right in the eye and told him what a low life pervert he as and that if he ever followed me around again I would beat the shit out of him. While he was catching his breath I also said that I was going to deal with him one way or the other but to rest assured he would hear from me again.
I dont know if those were the exact words I used caus it was so long ago. But he took off like a scared rabbit . I do remember exactly what I said them. In a cheerful voice I said loud enough for everyone around to hear.
" Hey it was great running into you again. Just remeber well what we talked about.
I WAS NEVER SO SCARED AS I WAS THEN. But I do remeber his look of fear. God it felt good. Some other time I will let you know of a chance encounter I had with 2 other previous customers.
But CHEY-WY what you did took a lot of guts and I know that your mom appreciated you being there.REMBER WE ARE NOT VICTIMS ANYMORE. Brother I am real proud of you.

 

[Chey-Wy]

Thanks guys,

So far I have only run into Ted in public places with large crowds of people around. I have never encountered him in a place where I could be "traped alone" with him. I used to sing in the church choir and play in the hand bell choir. After Ted's wife died in July, Ted started singing in the church church choir again, and started playing in the hand bell choir. I had to drop out of both choirs because I just couldn't stand being in the same room with him. In the hand bell choir he stood directly behind me.

I also stopped attending church. Between the way that the church was treating me in regard to Dr. Laughlin and having Ted "in my face" all the time, I just couldn't handle it.

If you saw my post Wednesday, "Because I didn't say NO!" I said that I was thinking of sending that post to Ted's son. I have a better plan. I am going to take the post to The District Attorney's office on Monday.

Also, Remember that I said Mr. Thomas (U.S. Senator Craig) at the reception today. I think I am going to call his Cheyenne office on Monday and tell him I was sorry that I didn't get to talk to him at the reception and see if he would have time to talk to me before he goes back to Washington. If he is available I am going to go in and tell him about Male Survivor. I will be brief but let him know of the fight that we are facing, trying to get our voice heard.

I know that the chances of getting everything to fall into place perfectly are slim, but if I can't get in to see him I will send a letter stating that " I was sorry that things hadn't worked out". Actually, that might be the better solution because I could spend time writing and edditing the letter. Mr. Thomas is a very caring and understanding person and I think he would be supportive of what I had to say.

Right now I need to be getting to bed. I haven't been sleeping well. I just hope that I don't wake up with nightmares. I know the last time I ran into Ted at the theatre I did.

Thanks for all the support. I hope I can return it someday.

John

 

[Wuamei]

John, and Mike, your in-the-face bravery is inspiring! It's really great to hear these uplifting stories of courageous confrontation, standing up for oneself, and bold advocacy.

John, I'm really sorry about what you went thru with Ted at that ceremony. But I am extremely proud of the way you handled it. You didn't lose it, you didn't back down, you did what you wanted to do. You won, he lost! Another round goes to Big Bad John!

You know bro you're right: That

is not going to get out of your face, unless you get him out. And you're doin it, man!

Talkin to the DA is a great idea. Prosecute that lowlife, put some fear in him as Mike says. He's the one that's done wrong, not you!

It's really awesome that you're going to talk to or write to Senator Thomas. What a great advocacy for MS, to get the voices of us male survivors heard, even on a national level.

John, if & when you can, you might also consider telling Senator Thomas some of your story. Just a thot if you think you can trust that much, becuz I doubt if Ted the perp has more money or influence at his disposal than a U.S. Senator.

Of course you might wanna talk to your attorney about this first. Hope the case is going better.

Brother, I'm proud to call you a brother. You are truly amazing. And just for the record, you've already given a ton of support to your fellow male survivors, including me, and I'm sure you'll give much more, becuz that's you.

Thanks man.

Victor