Searching for Triggers

[JonathanKhonsu]

I don't know why? but sometimes I search for stuff that will trigger me. I Know I whant to remember everything, but at the same time I don't, Ikow I can't handle everything. I know sometimes I push myself too hard. I feal like I should be stronger, everything should be eser. I was wondering if m reaction of sometimes searching out triggers is normal? Or if I'm just pushing myself too hard too fast? Or maybe both?

 

[ScottyTodd]

Hey JonathonK - Many of us try to push ourselves to remember more, faster, harder, more details... I used to do that because I wanted the pain to stop! Get it over with! Get on with life! But I soon discovered that I was going as fast as I could handle things. As I look back, if I had remembered everything all at once, a huge mushroom cloud would explode with billions of pieces of little Howard scattered over vast teriitories! Try to go at the pace your memory and body feel best and trust their speed. What does the ad for Paul Masson wine say, "nothing before its time". It has taken years for the symptoms to develop and they will resolve the same way. Some folks say "as far as you go up the road is as far as you need to come back".

Handle things as they come, one day at a time!

Howard

 

[Bill_1965]

I gotta agree with Howard.

Pushing it can overwhelm you, and make things worse, bring on more than you can handle.

Take it as it comes, it will come when your mind knows that you are ready.

Take care,
Bill

 

[survive75]

It's really tough. I still struggle with trying to force the memories to come. And I have found that it usually results in one of three things:
1. Trying to force puzzle pieces together that just don't fit and causing more jumbling of the few memories you have already.
2. Stronger resistance in therapy, so in essence, by forcing it, you are taking three steps backwards for every step you seem to gain.
3. Remembering something WAY before you are ready and having a total meltdown.

But it's normal. What you are doing. And even though I know it doesn't work, I still try and push things to come up before their time. Take it slow if you can.

-Sean