Scared Of Getting Old

[Doppelganger1]

Middle age, old age, age in general: I really, really struggle with these. Deep within me, in the areas it hurts to gaze into, this is what scares me the most. Not dying, but getting old. Looking old. Feeling old. Being old.

Im on the verge of middle age and I dont know how to deal with it. Maybe its because so much of my childhood was taken away. Maybe its because I do not want to look like my sick old father. Some people view aging with a sense of pride and accomplishment. I applaud these people, but do not know how to join them. It scares me, and has for a long time.

I had a psychiatrist who once taught me that I could be any age I wanted to be. All I had to do was name it and own it. It used to work for me, but now as I see more grey hairs, and experience more aches and pains (and more diminishing of skills) it gets harder and harder every day.

It is actually more complicated than this, but at least I got this much out for now.

Jeff

 

Jeff,

I know the feeling. I look in the mirror. More gray hair everyday. And I have more physical problems than I did when I was 21.

But getting older is the way it is. I don't choose to feel my age always. Almost 47. Sometimes I feel that I am still 21. Sometimes I don't. That's normal.

But I know how you feel.

Peace,

Marc

 

[Mike Church]

Hey I just got to step in here and give you youngsters a good talking to. I am 63 chronological years old. Yeh I got white hair and wrinkles. But inside I am still 18 and always will be. I dont want to be fed pablum and wear a diaper. Hell I dont think anyone does. I started to work out 16 months ago and my body fat content is down to 10% from 23%. I am in better shape than I was at 25. And I feel better physically. I eat better and healthier and sleep better.

Guys just because you got grey hair and so much was taken from you as kids remember that you got the rest of your life to catch up. I am doing that and having a lot of fun doing it. I mountainbike, inline skate etc etc. My wife says I am nuttier than a fruitcake and hey who am I to argue but by god I am having fun.

Feeling older I think really is a mental state.

Just my call on it.

 

[yesac76]

Men,
Think of it this way.
WIne improves with age
Perfection takes time
If you don't get older, you are dead
Wisdom comes with age

Casey

 

[Bill_1965]

Yeah, better old than dead.

I don't fear getting old. I know I wouldn't trade being 38 for being any of the ages that preceded it.

Live and enjoy,
Bill

 

[RICK57]

Jeff - years ago I still knew what praying was & my main prayer was that I reached the age of 16 & passed my exams, just so they could say that I had achieved something at my funeral!!!

Well I'm 30 years past that milestone & life has took it's winding road... my hair / teeth / appearance are as they are (I look about twenty on a dark night in the middle of a wood that has just been sprayed with matt black paint)...I don't shop at Greenwoods (possibly only the English here will understand this one - Lloydy/Dave sorry if you shop there *sorry for you & sorry that I've made the comment).

I still go to rock concerts (3 day events preferably) & do what I want to do. My biggest nightmare is to end up in a nursing home listening to 78's of Roll out the Barrel.

Do things that you enjoy - that's what living is about & it's what keeps you young (at any age).

Try not to get stressed about it, because that is allegedly one of the biggest 'agers' there is!

Best Wishes...Rik ...what's the best cold cream? Ask your Granny.

 

[MikeNY]

Growing up is optional (supposed to be at least), growing old is manditory.

When I was about 5 years old, my grandmother told me that she was going through her 3rd childhood, and told me to never leave my first one, so I never really have fully left it. I know that many of you have lost most of your childhood, but you can give some of that childhood back to yourselves and to the kids that are inside of you.

 

[Brayton]

Its interesting but I didn't really begin to understand and see myself as a man growing older (now 49) until sometime after I began to recover from the abuse I experienced.

These things are not easy, particularly in a culture that values youth and often does not honor elders. This is growing more and more true for men. (Just look at the growing incidence of eating disorders among boys and young men and the growing incidence of obsessive body-morphing.)

Now that I've begun to come to terms with it, I see that since it is inevitable, I may just as well accept it, not rail against it and discover its unique advantages.

For the first time in my life I am experiencing an extended period of time in which I don't think of suic'de almost everyday.

I do feel more knowledgeable, maybe even wise sometimes. I have a more developed sense of my spirituality. I find that, not intentionally, have begun to become a role model for some younger people.

I started getting gray hair years ago. Now I am getting white little by little. Wow, what a transformation that is!

For me, I think the fact that so much was lost for so long, makes these days, months and years feel more valuable, worthwhile, life affirming, etc. than all the others before put together.

 

[MrDon]

I feel like a 15 year old trapped inside a (almost 40 year old, almost) body. Of course I got my mom's side of the genetics where we look much younger than we are. Most people don't think I am as old as I am. Oh well, that is a good thing, I think!

But I do understand about not wanting to be like our father as there are things within me that I try to keep myself from resembling my father. And yet I do to some degree. Of course I have to remind myself that I am not him and I have the option of creating whatever I want to create in each day that I get. I've almost lost this life once and so each day that I can walk, talk and get around is a day that I look forward to.

It is unfortunate that society puts so much emphasis on age and certain characteristics that one must have. Sometimes our ideals in society are so shallow but to be honest, it doesn't mean we have to follow them either.

But sometimes in life, we just have to go have an ice cream cone!

One of the things that I am seeing by volunteering at the children's hospital is how much fun I can have with some of these kids. It makes me feel young just by having a little fun with them.

Ahh the possibilities we have in life are endless... they may be tougher than hell at times, but they are endless.

So who wants to join me for an ice cream cone! Double dip!