SAD
The Bluefoot
Registrant
Thinking. I do that once in a while and today i realized I am sad. So many things going on in my life and many thing that need my attention and yet I cant seem to get any done and I feel very sad, Yes a guess its apart of being depressed. But I over all feel sad. I am sad for some of my friends, who are locked up, or in a hospital. Or even my friend Kameen who is stuck in my basement with the covid 19. Not allowed out for 10 days. I want to help many people I know friends and acquaintances and some relatives and yet I cant help anyone and cant even help myself. I cant get my thoughts together. I wish I had a lot of money I could help some of the people out of there troubles, Others just need prayers and I need ..............? not sure what I need. I love my husband and my son, but I still feel stuck in life. Work is so so at least one of my 3 jobs I'm making money on. That's fun the job I wanted to give up is the one I make the money on.
I sit at the computer and do research for 6 hours day on thing that don't make money, on how to help people who are least fortune or in bad luck or have made bad mistakes in life. I try to learn as much about how to help them as possible.
I think about my past and how I got to where I am today. I feel I have done some great things in the past. But now stuck. Sad that cant get started again and do more then before. I am 57, sexual abused from age 6 to 17 1/2 by 6 different people. Never told anyone until I was 32 and by then I talk about only 2 abusers, in the past 4 months I talked about all 6 abusers. And I was hoping by talking abut it I get unstuck. But nothing still stuck. To the people around me I seem happy but I am not just Sad. I smile so people don't see. I am sorry to burned you with my sad thoughts. I wish It was different. But I feel this is one place I can tell my thoughts and maybe get some feed back as well.
I sit at the computer and do research for 6 hours day on thing that don't make money, on how to help people who are least fortune or in bad luck or have made bad mistakes in life. I try to learn as much about how to help them as possible.
I think about my past and how I got to where I am today. I feel I have done some great things in the past. But now stuck. Sad that cant get started again and do more then before. I am 57, sexual abused from age 6 to 17 1/2 by 6 different people. Never told anyone until I was 32 and by then I talk about only 2 abusers, in the past 4 months I talked about all 6 abusers. And I was hoping by talking abut it I get unstuck. But nothing still stuck. To the people around me I seem happy but I am not just Sad. I smile so people don't see. I am sorry to burned you with my sad thoughts. I wish It was different. But I feel this is one place I can tell my thoughts and maybe get some feed back as well.
